I feel so trapped.

Monday, July 7th

6pm

I really don't know what to do. 

There's no way in hell that I can stay in this house until I'm out of college.  But I can't make enough money to get out on my own until after that.

I've thought about asking Aunt Donna to let me move in with her, but there's no bus stop near there, so I'd have no way to get to a job.  And without the job I can't afford the school. 

I could get a car.  But I can't afford a car and school at the same time.  And no one has even fucking taught me to drive yet.  I'm nineteen fucking years old.

Maybe I should put off school until I have a car and can afford gas and insurance... and school.   So I can move out sooner.  But then what if I can never afford it.  What if I get trapped in a shitty, minimum wage job with too many bills to even save up for college.  I feel sick.  I don't want to live like my mother.