3 posts tagged “all”

Tuesday

April 21st

8:48pm

I can't stop the woods and the beach and the fire and the sun and the stars from swirling around each other in my head.  Every second I spend in a building or a house makes me feel like I'm being punished, and I just need to break out and look up to see forever again.  Being out there so much after so many years away has brought back all my old summer memories.  Running as swiftly as possible through the branches to discover the mystery that is the other side of the hill, watching the animals live in a way they have for longer than I can begin to imagine.  Sneaking out into the yard in the middle of the night just to watch the moon rise, the meteors fall, and the bats flitter, and making coffee (the only time I ever did like it) with my sister at sunrise.  I crave it, the freedom of leisurely time in nature with good company, uninterrupted.

Homesick, I guess you could call it.  Only far more fierce.

Calm down, Jen.  Saturday's getting closer.

Then I'll move it faster, faster, faster, faster.

Wednesday, September 10th

Noonish

Only two days off this week.  Today and Friday.  I fucking NEED a day off after closing with Cindy last night.  She makes us do twice as much as anyone else makes us, and every time she walks past me, she goes,"Faster, faster, faster, faster!"  SHUT.  UP!  MY ARMS WILL NOT MOVE FASTER THAN THIS WITHOUT FLYING OFF OF MY BODY.  GO.  AWAAAAY.

The store was closed.  The customers were all gone.   The EMPLOYEES were all gone.  Except for me, Justin, and Cindy.  Yet, for some reason, it is inappropriate to talk while I'm cleaning the glass on the meat display case.

I was already pissed at her for being such an annoying bitch, and for having to clean ALL THREE slicers that night because there were only two of us closing the deli (Cindy had to close up the seafood department because the guy who was supposed to got hurt in culinary school today).  But.  Even though I'd been working my ass off and putting up with her shit for the past nine hours (THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, NINE FUCKING HOURS OF CINDY) I wasn't allowed to make idle conversation to take my mind off of murdering her in the face.  FINE.  I'LL JUST GO FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER.  MY RAGE FUELS MY ARM.  AND MY MURDEROUS PLOT.  ENJOY.

"Nooo taaaalkING!  You need to be working!"

"We can do both at the same time!  (forced happy tone)"

"No you can't!  If you're looking up at him you're not looking at what you're cleaning."

What?!  I didn't even know where the fuck he was at.  I just responded to a voice from beyond the counter.  SHUT.  UP.  CINDY.  THIS IS NOT STUDY HALL.  I HATE YOU.

"I wasn't looking up at him."

"*hushedgrumble*"

And as if that were not enough, they had to shut the power off because they're doing something to the freezers or something.  I don't know.  But, Cindy had us rush over to the machine to punch out, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.  WOW.  SO, A FUCKING HALF HOUR AFTER WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE IS TOO LATE.  IMAGINE THAT.  So, she had us go fasterfasterfasterfaster back to the deli, and I was THOROUGHLY PISSED, rushing round like a fucking maniac, and slipped on the floor (I didn't know Justin had just mopped.  I was too consumed by my attempt to burn a hole through the glass I was cleaning with my fasterfasterfaster arm.)  and landed flat on my ass (and killed myself).  It was a classic Charlie Brown football kick fall, without so many flips.

She was acting all fucking concerned.  Concerned that I might report her ass and jeopardize her fucking JOB maybe.  It's her WHOLE FUCKING LIFE.   She is the ONLY person I've met there who talks about nothing but work.  Justin told me she has kids!  SHE HAS NEVER MENTIONED HAVING CHILDREN, A HUSBAND, A PET, A FRIEND, A THOUGHT, OR ANYTHING BUT MEAT AND CHEESE.  DIE ALREADY!

Me and Justin had a very serious discussion about this (while she was at her 2 o'clock meeting and the employees were allowed to speak) and decided that no one would fuck that.  The kids are either a lie, adopted, or were artificially inseminated.  No one would even rape her.  She'd be talking about stock levels.  Who gets off on that?

Anyway, when we FINALLY got out of there (9 fucking 15 pm), I was on the bench in front of the store trying to release all of the day's frustration by crying and ranting to Cameron on the phone, when Cindy comes around the fucking corner and starts talking to me!  "Are you okay?  How long until your ride gets here?  Do you want me to wait with you?'   WTF?!  NO!  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!  IT'S HARD TO BITCH ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE A FOOT AWAY.  IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT I'M ENRAGED AND HAVE A THROBBING ASS-BRUISE RIGHT NOW.  DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LESS GUILTY BY PRETENDING TO CARE.  YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE FOR HARASSING AND CAUSING INJURY TO CUTE HAPPY NEW EMPLOYEES THAT THE MANAGER ABOVE YOU LIKES.  YEAH.  MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM WHAT A GREAT JOB I WAS DOING SO FAR.   MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF INSTEAD.  HAVE A GOOD EVENING.  I HOPE YOUR CHILDREN KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.  YOU KNOW THEY WANT TO.

Friday, July 25th

10pm

And it will be even MORE beautiful when I get Wen.  Which will be as soon as I have enough for my kawlij books after getting a job.  Actually, I may get a shower filter before I get my conditioning cleanser.  The product seems worth having the best water used with it.  Once I find out how much I'll be paid, I'll make myself a little budget timeline thing to see how long it will take to save for my next semester, and how often I can buy little (and slightly more than little) things for myself. 

I really need to find out if I'm going on this trip with Niki or not so I know how soon I can start turning in my jarb applications.  See, she has this friend, Lynn, who I met this year and also became friends with.  She lives in Connecticut, and she's Niki's "big sis", all but biologically.  So, Lynn's getting a new Yaris next week and wants to come take Niki to Connecticut for a little vacation, and swing over to New York City and now maybe even upstate New York by bus.  The thing is, before this trip was planned, Lynn said she was going to take me and Niki both to visit and go to NYC, etc., etc. over spring break this coming year.  So, I'm not sure if I'm invited on this trip or not.  And if I am invited, I don't want to turn in applications too far in advance, because I don't want to have to ask my brand new boss for time off, or say that I can't start yet and make up an excuse.  XD  I'm tempted to just ask Lynn about it, but I have a feeling that if I asked her, she'd probably just invite me even if she wasn't already planning to, and that would seem unfair if she just wanted to hang out with Niki first and felt that she had to invite me because she felt bad or something.  LOL I don't know.  I don't want to accidentally invite myself, basically.  But I also don't want to miss out on good moneys by waiting another week before I know what's going on.  Niki, can you try to talk to her about how you're planning everything and let me know if I'm mentioned, or if you've decided when to go?  I'm completely in the dark here.  LOL

So, anyways, I just finished mowing the lawn at nine.  And I'm trying to encourage this viney plant in my backyard to climb the fence, so it blocks out that creepy old black man who just sits and stares into my yard all day.  Kitchen window.  He's there.  Bathroom window.  He's there.  Bedroom window.  He's there.  HE WON'T FUCKING GO AWAY.  And he doesn't do anything.  He just sits there.  Staring.  ALL DAY.  And then he goes in.  It's enough to drive you mad.

Also.  I'm taking Niki to the BK Lounge on Monday.  Bitchin', si?  POKEMON TOYS.  AND CARDS!  I've gone like four times and still no Pikachu.  COME OOOON!  What the hell am I supposed to do with my fucking darkrai and manaphy boxes?  I already put my coins in one.  Shit, son.

And I know how much gramma's giving Niki for graduation.  XD