9 posts tagged “chris”
That's what my aunts call me now, after seeing what I wore to Chris's first gig last night. I was damn cute, though. XD
And it didn't bother me anyway, after Aunt Donna told me that at work, her cake said "Happy Birthday Hooker".
I love my family.
The show was fucking amazing. I'm very proud of Chris's drumskillz. People even started moshing. Including Young Bryan. XD Only bad part about it was that Nick kept saying dumb shit between songs, like that he felt like he was going to puke and stuff. But if they knock that off and gain a bit more confidence stage-presence-wise they'll go far fast.
Also. Fitz was on stage for the performance, and I got kickass pictures with the band. I look like I belong in it. *SINGS FOR THEM* I CAN BE THEIR AMY LEE. ONLY BLONDE (*SCARES AMY LEE*). AND HOLDING A STUFFED MOOSE/REINDEER MASCOTT.
OMG I CAN BE NANA! *finds a cooler band XD!!!* KUZN! WIG-BORROWING TIME!
Btw. SO my idea to put Fitz on stage. I'm awesome. *emoheart* XD
Afterwards, Bryan had previous plans to visit a pallypal, so I rode to the afterparty with Aunt donna. Me and Devin were larfing and I was still dancing like crazy. Since all of my festivaling and bellydance classes, I'm no longer shy about dancing AT ALL. So, basically I never stop. But anyway, me and Devin got to talking about a lot of *bizarre whistley noise of paranormality*. BUT. I have so much to tell him about what I've learned in no seat belt land (which I'll of course leave the seatbeltlessness bit out of moooostly) and teach him a bit about how to protect himself better with magick. He knows very little about defensive/basic protective skills and they'll really help him out. So I'll be going over there Thursday after work so we can hang out down by his beach and talk privately for a bit, then have the typical Aunt Donna's bonfire later on, since I'm off on Fridays and can just crash there that night. It'll be sweet. Devin's usually cool one-on-one.
In other news (XD) we've got two new girls at work to replace Jessica and Melissa. Their names are Jessie and Debbie. Jessie is a sixteen-year-old secret spy (friend of the owners' family), and Debbie is just psychotic and obnoxious, and middle-aged. XD Poor Halle has to train them to death and be trapped with them in the evenings now.
They may be trying to get rid of Judge Tim (TERRIBLE!!!) because he's been having (work-stress induced) panic attacks and calling off like three days a week for the last month or so with crazy thyroid shit and what seems to be a touch of depression. But he might actually be trying to get fired so he can collect unemployment and properly search for a better job without being all stressed out while doing it. Which we're ALL hoping for at least a little bit. XD
Except for Little George.
He's too proud of his work.
My bellydance class at the wellness center isn't continuing in the fall because I'm basically the only one who always showed up. XD BUT my teacher also teaches at a dance academy (SO FUCKING COOL!) where I'll be continuing, learning with students who've already been in bellydance for three years, and Nicole (my teacher) said I fit in perfectly with them and am doing a great job. I went to the last summer class there on Tuesday night and it was much more fast-paced, but I still did great. I like this speed better. I get to learn more faster. And since this is a real dance school, there's a recital at the end of the season with a real costume and everything. I'm ecstatic! I'm getting myself a full-length mirror so I can practice better at home. It makes practice worlds better to be able to see yourself.
I'll be good enough to perform or teach... or both. I'm awesome!!! And proud of myself. ^-^
Also, Mike's birthday was on Wednesday, and after work (he got his new jarb he wanted so badly! Yay!) he came over and we gave him a proper celebration, with a homemade (XD) giant chocolate chip cookie (cake thing) and present and card and funtymez. Even Leo came to the party.
We started painting Psychedellic Jesus.
I just got the internet in my apartment today. My apartment that I moved into and stole half of from Bryan two months ago. My tummy's full of heavy noms and I have no idea how late it is. I have really great sex. Can I just say that right up front? And so many cuddles. And adventures. I went hiking with Young Bryan yesterday through these crazy-ass caves and cliffs that look like they're from Legends of the Hidden Temple only... real. There was even a cool little waterfall we drank from. And found lots of little pr0nfilming nooks and tested one out a bit. I love my adventures with Bryan. XD
And the day before that I went swimming with Chris (young cousin) at the beach and got him caught up on my life and whatnot. Next week I'm probably staying the night at Aunt Sandy's Monday night, so that on Tuesday Morning me, Chris, and maybe Devin and/or Christian (ALL COUSINS, WE ARE PLENTIFUL!!!) can go to the beach near their hood and go splorin'.
I'm listening to old deo's Shadow episodes. I miss that show bigtime. It's a pagan podcast.
Today, I called Mike to invite him over, and he was really stressing about a lot of stuff. Money, finding a new job, sick gramma, stressed family, etc. So, he came over and we cuddled, played with the computer, had incredible sex, rubbed chocolate all over each other in the shower afterwards, got all smoked up, and went out for bison burgers. I like having someone to take care of just a little bit. But not to the point where they need me to survive. I like to spoil Mike, and he spoils me back. ^-^ And we talk about a lot of stuff. We're really alike personality-wise and he likes being a silly five year old with me, including the little voices. And we can relate on a lot of deep emotional levels, both painful and pleasurable. But most of the time, he's just plain fun.
When Bryan got home from work today, he was in a shitty mood, and had this big sad rant about his jealousy and such, because I guess Mike has a habit of forgetting to flush his baseball cards, so Bryan knows like exactly when we've had sex. That was a downer, but what the hell am I supposed to do? He's the one who keeps telling me I should be free to love whoever, however. I know it's hard, and that he wants to learn to overcome jealousy, but I still feel an urge to try to fix his problems, which makes me start thinking I should change things to suit his needs... but that's not what he wants, or what I want. I just want us to all be happy and express how we feel about each other in peace.
Anyway, Bryan did a banishing to get rid of his negative energy, and then we got all smoked up (such a stoner day, holy shit XD) and I showed him ALL the unicorns. Charlies one through three and all of Planet Unicorn. Lucky Star is next. XD By the way, Charlie the Unicorn should be experienced with pot by everyone who's interested in both of them. XD As should a lot of other things. Pink Floyd, sex, walking around at night, bison, etc.
Bryan showed me he's a gargoyle. It was amazing.
Sunday, October 5th
Noon
I has a shed. We were supposed to paint it today but it's too cold, so the paint wouldn't stick right. Or something. It's huge, but still doesn't completely block the creepy old staring guy from my bathroom window. *shrug* Gramma's stuff is gonna go in there when she moves in. Some of it anyway. Not all of it would even fit in this house if we took all of me and my mom's stuff out (which also barely fits). A lot of it will be given away and some will go into storage I think. Terrible. But I don't care. I'll be moving out anyway. I really should save more. I've been spending a lot lately. But I can't help it. I've gone so long without being able to have anything that I really want to reward myself for little things in a way I never could for... any things before. I'm not buying too much STUFF really. Just Wen and food. Really great food. Delivered to me. Dot com. XD!
I went to Niki's after work on Friday and we ordered in from a sushi place. The sushi was amaaazing and I got a delicious seaweed salad too. Niki got teriyaki chicken (of course XD!) that came with rice, miso soup, a salad (for little kookz!) and these mysterious, yet delicious, pouches of meat. I french-braided her hair, trimmed her NANA wig to perfection and we watched The Breakfast Club (and took pictures). It was super duper fun. And then I went to sleeps.
Yesterday I woke up at 8:30am to find that Chris had been there the whole time. I thought he was at his dad's, but he had just been in his room sleeping since like 6pm the night before. XD!!! I took a shower, then we chatted a bit while Niki was sleeping, and watched super hard mario.
Me and Niknik went to the health food shop and found out the goff girl there is having a baby girl! But apparently it's Tim's, so Niki's back to marrying the sushi chef at my work. Even though the baby is really hers. XD!!! We got mint chocolate swirl rice cream and ate it outside the closed cafe next to the health food shop and had a chat. Then we went back to her house on the bus (while taking pictures) and watched mochi poof up in the oven while laughing (and taking pictures). We had it with some of the agave nectar I bought, and it was reeeally good. And I gave her a treat stick, which she enjoyed. XD
Then I went to Camcam's and watched him fly around his tiny RC helicopter. It's sooo cute! Then we had chicken/azn n00dles/key-lime bars his mom made (surprisingly edible... because it all came out of boxes besides the chicken which was juicy but devastatingly flavorless), and he played with his synth some and showed me Portal before we watched some Initial D and had super cuddles times™. JESUS, that's my boy.
My mom is driving me nuts today. It's one of those days where she got up at the exact same time as me, and decided to do shit in the room I'm in, and give me no privacy and not allowing me to concentrate... CONSTANTLY interrupting me to make me set up this stupid fucking shelf.
There are three new girls in the deli, so I'm working four days a week now instead of five. That gets me $180 a week.
The new health food store opens up in like a month (maybe two?). It's really tempting. If I could work five days a week there, even with slightly less money per hour I'd probably be making more and liking my job more.
She's pounding metal with a mallot three feet away. HELP ME.
Tuesday, August 19th
3:33am
On Saturday I went to a party. Aunt Donna ordered two pepperoni pizzas and a bucket of mild wings. Cameron taught everyone to play "Bud" and made a keytar out of Niki's keyboard and Christian's Guitar Hero... guitar handle thing. I danced until 8am with Aunt Donna while she told me about how fucked up she was, and was amazed (about ten times) at how we're both first sopranos. Chris, Devin, and Nick headbanged like the whole time. Christian went to bed before like 3am. Niki made tacos forever. Brandon passed out inside the house and was curled in a ball and laughing hysterically. He was the only one in the room. Everyone took pictures. Aunt Donna nearly fell in the fire, but was caught by Uncle Ray (while sticking her arm out and shouting,"Save my beer!" Devin threw up Chinese food and made sure everyone knew that it was because of how drunk he was. He also gave me a pretty stone (tiger's eye). I fell asleep on a really cool Tempurpedic imitation thing on the floor around 8:30am and woke up around 3pm.
I like parties.
Sunday, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean for the first time (yes, the first time). Aunt Donna ordered two pepperoni pizzas and a bucket of mild wings. Again. I cleaned up Aunt Donna's yard and made an art project out of the bottles. Me, Devin, and Chris played with bamboo. Devin smiled into a bucket of chicken. Aunt Sandy gave me a ride home, I took a shower, and slept like a rock.
Today, I played a bit of SyrupTales, found a really fascinating (and sad) journal that's quite nearly a novel, and "played legos" with Cameron. We did actually play with pink legos, that's just not ALL we did. *wink wink* We are so talented. I love us. Mostly him. XD And he drove me to the store to get green smoothie supplies, and they were OOOOUT, so I had to get romaine. I got an orange to try to make up for my lack-of-spinach sadness. And I got Cameron to eat blueberries and he liked them! ^-^ Well. The big, sweet ones at least. But it's a start! I nearly cried with joy! BLUBURRIES!
My mom came out here a half hour ago, all sleepy and looking utterly confused.
"What are you doing? Go to bed."
I think I shall.
Thursday, August 14th
3:24am
I've got goodies from Cameron's Connecticut trip. Including Swedish cookies. That were made in Canada. XD
And some activities I'm sure he'd prefer I not mention.
Now...!
>;D
All our lives we chase the night like it's never-ending, you the sun and I the moon.
I'm so glad he's back. He really is my soulmate. He actually said to me today,"I feel like I've loved you for thousands of years." It moved me to tears. I'm not afraid of losing him anymore because I now realize that there is nothing stronger than what holds us together. I feel safe now, knowing that if I ever lose him, we'll soon find each other again. Whether in this life, or what lies after. Just as we have before.
But I'm sure you're not interested in my mush. XD
I have an appointment with my dentist tomorrow at five. Before then, I'm probably going to be putting away lots of laundry, and making my ripped-knee pants really cute. And making another green smoothie.
Me and Niki made our very first green smoothie two days ago! ^-^ And it was DELICIOUS! We're amazing. And Chris is insane for not liking berries. But he likes other fruit, so I won't get angry. XD
The one I made today had:
- 1 apple
- 1 nectarine
- 1 handful of blueberries
- 1 tbs coconut oil
- 1 metric shit-ton greens
It wasn't as sweet as I was hoping, but that's because I saved half of my blueberries for today, so it's easily fixable. And my blender can get rid of all the colorful bits. But since it's old, it gets hot easily and makes my smoothie kind of warm, which I dislike. But, overall, it was good. Definitely like the coconut oil in there. But I wouldn't add more than a tablespoon because it overpowers the other fruit flavors a bit. I missed the banana. But it still had a nice, creamy texture without it. I was concerned about that.
I'm also going to apply at Giant Beagle, since I go there so much. And maybe that one Azn Fewd place by the nail place where the azns work. XD A place within walking distance to Niki's would be neat 'cause I wouldn't have to avoid scheduling peep hangs on days I have to work. Plus I could probably get me and Niki discounts on organic numnums and pokeymanz. I'm getting Niki a booster pack when I get my first paycheck. She's bought me way too much stuff. All those candy bars. XD
I also had a surprisingly long conversation with Nick (Niki's boyfriend) after she fell asleep. It was funny, because I've never really talked to him before, but we discussed at length the two taboo conversation topics... religion and politics, and really nothing else. Besides a bit about smoking, careers, and his mom, and Uncle Joe. Niki fell asleep around 6am, and we didn't finish talking until after 8am. About religion and politics. LMFAO It's funny how the most controversial things are anything but when open-minded people discuss them, even if they've never talked before. He taught me about how the new world order is gonna kick our asses, and I taught him about how cool and not evil paganism is. XD CPS FTW!
Also. Niki, are you working Saturday? During the party? Pliss let me know.
Tuesday, July 22nd
11:56pm
I've always been the girl whose friends come to her for advice. But what happens when I don't know what to do either? I feel like not being able to fix someone else's problem is just as bad as creating it in the first place. I really shouldn't, because it's completely illogical, but I don't know how else to deal with it. Failing your friend is just... it makes me cry. I hate letting people down.
Niki's dealing with some serious crap, as usual, and I can't help her. I feel like the worst friend in the world just because I don't know how to fix her problems. I shouldn't feel like that. I can't fix half of my own problems, but I don't beat myself up over that. At least not as much. It's NOT my fault that I'm out of ideas, and it's NOT my fault that she can't afford to get an apartment right now. But I feel like even she thinks I'm a terrible friend and a horrible person for giving her a dose of reality and telling her that. IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! WHY DO I FEEL SO AWFUL?! Don't shoot the fucking messenger. Ugh.
I only disagree with her when she's doing something that I think is harmful to herself. I'm allowed to have my own opinions every once in a while. Even if I look at her point of view, I'm allowed to say it doesn't make sense, isn't logical, or even that I think it's wrong. And if she prefers to do things that I think are harmful, that's fine, that's her decision. But I should still be able to tell her what I think without being the insensitive ass. Now I'm annoyed, and will most definitely come across as one. I need to vent. Everyone needs to let their inner opinionated bitch out now and again.
That being said, here are my frank and possibly rude opinions.
I think it's stupid to choose living with her dad (and sharing a room with Nick) over living with her mom.
- He has no job. No house. No money. No food. He doesn't even like Nick right now.
- She wouldn't even sleep in Nick's room the other night because he hadn't showered in a week. Even when there is hot water, he doesn't shower unless she forces him to. His sheets and laundry would stink up the entire room. She could never tolerate that room and would find herself a couch (which she'd hate) to avoid the smell.
- He'll probably end up living with Gina as soon as she gets over their most recent fight.
- At her mom's she could have her own room. With a bed. Apparently it's uncomfortably small. I say, suck it up. As small as it is, it's a hell of a lot better than sharing a room or being a hobo (her only other option that exists in this state). It's temporary anyway, so just DEAL with it, because it's the best there is right now. And there will be food. And places nearby where she can earn money.
Staying with Lynn should not be ruled out before she even visits her.
- There is nothing in the damn town worth her staying for. Or even fucking coming back for. None of the people here who she wants to spend time with ever feel the same way except for me. And I'll be moving to the east coast as soon as I can anyway. And she can bring Nick with her, though I doubt he'd want to go. There's an ultimatum that'd show how much he cares.
- Lynn offered to pay to put her through school there and hook her up with a job she'd love. She wouldn't make these offers if she didn't really care. Niki would not have to worry about feeling like a burden because of that. Which I think she feels like with her parents.
- She'd have everything she needs to be comfortable while she figures out who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Food, a bed, the choice to do whatever she wants at any given moment, friends, pets, spending money, spare time, fun trips. To be perfectly honest, if it didn't mean leaving Cameron behind, I'd go live with Lynn!
And now Niki's back and not mad at me... or even at all. So I'm gonna feel like a complete ass for still posting this, but it IS what I feel, so it SHOULD be in my journal. Right? Oy.
Also. I hate when I'm talking to her and then all of a sudden it's Chris. Can she not take a piss without you stealing the computer? Back off brotha.
Okay. Deep breath... and....
Save.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
Monday, June 16th
5:30pm
You know things are rough when MY mother shows sympathy. She told me that she's sending Niki's graduation card early so that she can get her money now. How is this sympathetic? Well, Niki's mom is throwing her a graduation party. Right after her mother's wedding. When no one will have any money left to give to her. What. The. Hell?! If no one realizes there will be a party a thousand years from now (the wedding's not for a month, and who KNOWS how many times this will be rescheduled after seeing what happened to her birthday party), maybe they'll just send her money in the mail too.
Me and my mom were talking about how much Aunt Sandy (Niki's mom) has changed since getting divorced and finding a new bo. It's like she's reverted back into her teenage years and forgotten everything about her present life and responsibilities. Especially her children. She doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself and Brandon anymore. Sometimes her friends. Occasionally Chris. Since Niki moved in with her dad to get away from that attitude and Chris's torture, her mom seems to have completely forgotten that she has a daughter except when Niki contacts her. And even then she doesn't seem to care. It really pisses me off. Niki's been going through some tough shit for YEARS and now her mom has decided to just stop being a mom? NOT OKAY. SHE NEEDS YOUR FUCKING SUPPORT RIGHT NOW. I think I may just have a talk with her about this.
I told my mom the teenage bit, and apparently Aunt Sandy was a "selfish little snot" when she was a teenager. So, perhaps that could be the reason for her recent selfish behavior. Who knows? I'm just glad Niki's getting some money now. Maybe now she can get a camera and do funny vlogs. XD
Wednesday, April 2nd
11:22pm
I hate when I don't write a journal for a long time, because I always feel like I need to catch up on every little detail I've missed.
So, I'll try to recapitulate without going overboard.
Last Wednesday Cameron stopped by (he brought Christina into town and they'd hung out at his house a bit) and gave me shoes he ordered me for our anniversary. He wanted me to come to the city with him overnight, but since my mom thought I'd have class the next day, I went on Thursday instead. We had a metric shit-ton of fun, particularly in the baseball department... but even more on Friday. And we took ten thousand naps, because we stayed up until... I think like 5am. I was so out of it that at one point I shouted,"SHIT! FUCK ASS TOURETTES!" And we made a white chocolate sandwich with Law & Order. He doesn't like it when I get into the details with the general public. XD
Then, Saturday was Niki's brother's birthday party (he's 15... OR IS IT 51?! AHAHAHAHA!!! How many times was that joke made during the cutting of the cake? Four?) and we basically spent the whole time watching funny videos online. I was introduced to the musical stylings of Richard Cheese, which are absolutely HILARIOUS. He covers songs like Welcome to the Jungle in a Sinatra-esque fashion. It's incredible. Also, my teeth turned green from the REALLY UGLY FROSTING BALLOONS. Then we went to Niki's dad's/boyfriend's/boyfriend's family's house and I met all the peeps there. It was fun and HOLY SHIT HOW IS IT ALREADY TEN O'CLOCK?! I need to start waking up before 2pm. I met everyone there, and me and Niki hid in the bathroom for girl talk about my SHIT! FUCK ASS TOURETTES! weekend, and I showed her yoga to clear up bits of Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging but we got interrupted before I could show her my cool move which is a lot like falling over... because it is (what did he call it when he came down the stairs? Lesbian orgy?) and drank three thousand cans of mountain dew half way.
Also, Nutty & Moosewinkle/I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is shooting you in the face. And my Aunt Donna told me hilarious stories about being drunk. One was from the night before. And I'm actually going to get to come to our family's 6th annual Memorial Day party FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. I've already told Cameron to mark his calender. I can't wait to see my family drunk! I've never seen a drunk person in my entire life. At least not while they were drunk. I was always sheltered by my mother from these parties, but I'm not allowing it this year. I'm busting out from my shell!!!
Speaking of busting, I'm so sick of American bras. WHAT'S THIS?! SOMETHING ELSE AMERICA CAN'T GET RIGHT?! HOW SHOCKING! I've measured myself properly, according to two different systems. American, and English. When I was reading about the new English system last night, it was telling how the American system is WRONG and only applied in the 1930s when bras were first being designed. Nice work, England. Keeping up with the times.
English Version:
First, you measure all the way around your ribcage either just above or just below your nunga-nungas. If you get an odd number, round up to the next even one (they only make even numbered sizes). Then you measure all the way around your body, going over the fullest part of your chets. Then you subtract the difference. The number of inches determines the cup size.
American Version?
Exactly the same except for one thing. They tell you to add five inches to the first measurement. WHAT? On what planet does that make sense? Planet America. That's where.
My ribcage is 25 inches around. I round up to 26. My chets is 30 inches around.
According to Merry Old England I should wear a 26D. (I'm having trouble finding below a 28. Damn you, skinny ribcage.)
According to America, I should add five inches to the 25, coming up with 30 for my ribcage. But thirty is my chets measurement, too. So, I subtract the difference to find the cup size and get zero. So according to America, I'm a 30... Oh bloody hell.
