10 posts tagged “food”
There's nothing like a warm cup of mead on a snowy day to put you where you need to be. --Me
It's rich and golden, sweet and mellow, and completely warms you through. I have to make another batch. The one I made a few months back ended up getting moldy because I neglected to put it in an air-tight container fast enough. What I'm drinking now is an Irish import, but it's not traditional mead using just honey, yeast, and water. This is a more quick version that contains white wine. Nevertheless, it is delicious.
On Tuesday of last week, I put in my two weeks notice because I just couldn't handle the constant harassment anymore. On Wednesday, Danny told me THAT would be my last day. He can never let his employees be in complete control of when they leave. He's just an ass like that. So, I didn't get to make my last five hundred dollars. But that's okay. I still have three months of rent saved up, plus two thousand in my savings account for a car or emergency.
So what am I doing now? Well, I'm enjoying a warm cup of mead and working for myself. I've decided to give a big "FUCK YOU! ^-^" to "The Man" (easy there, Moonflower) and use this opportunity to create food, clothes, jewelry, body scrubs, scented oils, general cuteness, etc. and sell it. And that is how I will support myself. Pure and simple. I'm determined to make this work, because it's what I truly want out of life. I live off of my art. My creativity. I refuse to waste my time on that which does not serve me (more than money).
Where my stuff will be:
Girl Club
Weird Experience
I should at least have something to list in Weird Experience within a week's time. I'll be putting my dehydrated food and non-Girl Club stuff in that store.
Wish me luck! ^-^
Hi, Jen here. Pretty much the same one. But I'm in a whole new world now. I broke up with Cameron, moved in with Young Bryan, and am in one of the most bizarre love triangles ever between him and Mike. I live with Bryan, and he's... technically my boyfriend, but we're in an open relationship, so I'm also sort of dating Mike. But, they're best friends and we're all completely aware of the situation, so it's awkward at times when we're all hanging out. I love them both. I just want to be close to the people I care about.
We're all going to be porn stars. Kickass, eh?
I'm practicing more yoga and studying more magick. I'm having fun with food and creating things. I'm learning to live in the moment, for the moment. I'm experiencing things most people can't even dream about and seeing the world in a million new ways.
I'm happier than I've ever been.
Life is wonderful.
It's 10pm and I should probably go to sleep.
There's a chicken chalupa on the other side of the wall that's been trying to sweet-talk me for hours.
My mom won't heat the room I've been in all day, because she says she can't afford it.
Even though gramma just bought a heater that uses just ten cents worth of electricity per day when run all day.
On top of the fact that gramma is also now paying her hundreds in rent per month.
And she's been getting $25 per week from me.
I'm going to the dealership (hahaha!) with Cameron tomorrow to buy a sewing machine.
Then to his long lost (thanks to his mother) sister's house for a visit.
I really shouldn't eat that taco.
I shouldn't eat anything at all this close to bed.
It probably tastes like shit after sitting for so long anyways.
I haven't seen Niki in ages.
She never even tried to get a hold of me when she got back in town.
Actually, she never tries to get a hold of me. I always end up seeking her out.
I think my stomach wants to growl.
I ran out of healthy food. Basically.
I have two carrots and a lemon. And a chalupa. Fuck.
I'm not going to like weekdays at work without Debbie.
Fridays and Saturdays are the only time the other girls are there when I am.
I'll get so lonely.
They better hire me a friend.
I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Hopefully the taco won't catch me on my way there.
Sunday, October 5th
Noon
I has a shed. We were supposed to paint it today but it's too cold, so the paint wouldn't stick right. Or something. It's huge, but still doesn't completely block the creepy old staring guy from my bathroom window. *shrug* Gramma's stuff is gonna go in there when she moves in. Some of it anyway. Not all of it would even fit in this house if we took all of me and my mom's stuff out (which also barely fits). A lot of it will be given away and some will go into storage I think. Terrible. But I don't care. I'll be moving out anyway. I really should save more. I've been spending a lot lately. But I can't help it. I've gone so long without being able to have anything that I really want to reward myself for little things in a way I never could for... any things before. I'm not buying too much STUFF really. Just Wen and food. Really great food. Delivered to me. Dot com. XD!
I went to Niki's after work on Friday and we ordered in from a sushi place. The sushi was amaaazing and I got a delicious seaweed salad too. Niki got teriyaki chicken (of course XD!) that came with rice, miso soup, a salad (for little kookz!) and these mysterious, yet delicious, pouches of meat. I french-braided her hair, trimmed her NANA wig to perfection and we watched The Breakfast Club (and took pictures). It was super duper fun. And then I went to sleeps.
Yesterday I woke up at 8:30am to find that Chris had been there the whole time. I thought he was at his dad's, but he had just been in his room sleeping since like 6pm the night before. XD!!! I took a shower, then we chatted a bit while Niki was sleeping, and watched super hard mario.
Me and Niknik went to the health food shop and found out the goff girl there is having a baby girl! But apparently it's Tim's, so Niki's back to marrying the sushi chef at my work. Even though the baby is really hers. XD!!! We got mint chocolate swirl rice cream and ate it outside the closed cafe next to the health food shop and had a chat. Then we went back to her house on the bus (while taking pictures) and watched mochi poof up in the oven while laughing (and taking pictures). We had it with some of the agave nectar I bought, and it was reeeally good. And I gave her a treat stick, which she enjoyed. XD
Then I went to Camcam's and watched him fly around his tiny RC helicopter. It's sooo cute! Then we had chicken/azn n00dles/key-lime bars his mom made (surprisingly edible... because it all came out of boxes besides the chicken which was juicy but devastatingly flavorless), and he played with his synth some and showed me Portal before we watched some Initial D and had super cuddles times™. JESUS, that's my boy.
My mom is driving me nuts today. It's one of those days where she got up at the exact same time as me, and decided to do shit in the room I'm in, and give me no privacy and not allowing me to concentrate... CONSTANTLY interrupting me to make me set up this stupid fucking shelf.
There are three new girls in the deli, so I'm working four days a week now instead of five. That gets me $180 a week.
The new health food store opens up in like a month (maybe two?). It's really tempting. If I could work five days a week there, even with slightly less money per hour I'd probably be making more and liking my job more.
She's pounding metal with a mallot three feet away. HELP ME.
Friday, September 26th
10:39pm
This was my first day off since LAST Friday. If I wasn't off tomorrow too I'd murder Cindy.
I apologize for being a little out of it right now. After all of my healthy eating recently, the sugar, salt, and chemicals I loaded up on today are making me a bit loopy... since my body's not used to them anymore.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if this or that happened to be different.
If I'd never gone through hell with Chelsea, would I still trust people?
Or have ever become such a good poet?
If I hadn't tried to use Bridget as a stairway to popularity in seventh grade and seen into "their" world, how long would I have wanted to be friends with the popular girls before realizing what they were really like?
If I wasn't shy growing up, would I be a partying slut?
Would that be as fun as it looks... if it wasn't so empty?
Do I just wonder about that because I feel like I was deprived of the whole "dating" part of life, like I just... picked a husband?
As glad as I am to have been handed the most beautiful flower, I feel like I missed my chance to walk through the field.
If I'd met Cameron before I quit being shallow, would I have even given him the time of day?
If I'd never met him, how much longer would I have survived alone?
If I lost him, what would become of me?
What would I be like if I'd had a father?
Or if I'd never met the sad creature that claims to be mine?
Or if I didn't spend my whole life wishing I had something... money to get what I need, people to be close to who care, something to make me feel like my time here is worth anything.
Will I ever feel secure enough to risk having children?
Will I ever look at sex as not being a terrifying risk?
Will I ever stop having pimples?
Who's driving me to work on Sunday?
If slicing meat is how I earn my living, what is my life?
The two days a week I spend typing journals and waiting for Cameron to fit me into his schedule?
I need a car.
Ugh.
I played my clarinet today.
It was the first time in five years.
I showed my mom the biggest spider I've ever seen in my yard today.
She killed it.
8:30pm
So, I've attempted to buy healthy food to give me energy and motivate me to get my ass into gear, but I can't afford to buy enough of it for that to really work. But, that's okay. I've found a really great store that I want to work at even more than the health food store (because it's bigger, fancier, and has WAY more organic and local stuff... and it's closer). And the best part is, I can apply online. XD So, at some point today, when I stop feeling so tired, I'm going to do that.
I can't believe how long I slept last night. I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 3:45pm. I never sleep more than twelve hours unless I'm sick. I wonder if all the raw organic fruits and veggies I've been having this week are doing a bit of a detox number on me. I really don't know what else would make me so tired.
I think I'm a bit clingy. I get sad if it gets to like 8:30pm and Cameron hasn't contacted me in any way. It makes me feel forgotten. Or if I don't see Niki for like a week, I get scared that she doesn't want to hang out with me. I try to let my friends initiate the plan-making every once in a while, just to make sure they actually want to be around me. Am I just paranoid? Maybe I wouldn't feel like this if I had more friends.
I just went outside to bring the trash can back to the garage and get the mail. The sky was the pinkest I've ever seen, and the most brilliant molten, glowing gold near the horizon. Is it sad that that phrase makes me think of moltres flying up into the sky in Pokemon Snap? Anyway, that gave me more energy than I've had all day, so I'm definitely doing my application now. Go me!
Monday, August 11th
1:12am
Time to turn that baby OVER!
XD
I've been sooooo ridiculously tired lately, and it's keeping me from getting things done. Like getting a job. And cleaning my room. And trimming my hair. And going to the beach. And OH MY GOD HE BOUGHT ME GODIVA!!! Sorry. I'm on the phone with Cameron, who is currently in Connecticut. I LOVE HIM!
Anyway, to get myself some well deserved (and well needed) energy for my many-a-task, I'm going to start buying (and eating!) some very healthy food! Tomorrow me and Niki are making our first green smoothies and doing a bit of banking. I'm pumped!
And for those of you who may be wondering, yes that spider was waiting for me last night. On the wall next to my bed, no less. I managed to catch it using a glass and a folder, and let it outside. I felt so brave afterwards.
Not during.
Tuesday, July 22nd
11:56pm
I've always been the girl whose friends come to her for advice. But what happens when I don't know what to do either? I feel like not being able to fix someone else's problem is just as bad as creating it in the first place. I really shouldn't, because it's completely illogical, but I don't know how else to deal with it. Failing your friend is just... it makes me cry. I hate letting people down.
Niki's dealing with some serious crap, as usual, and I can't help her. I feel like the worst friend in the world just because I don't know how to fix her problems. I shouldn't feel like that. I can't fix half of my own problems, but I don't beat myself up over that. At least not as much. It's NOT my fault that I'm out of ideas, and it's NOT my fault that she can't afford to get an apartment right now. But I feel like even she thinks I'm a terrible friend and a horrible person for giving her a dose of reality and telling her that. IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! WHY DO I FEEL SO AWFUL?! Don't shoot the fucking messenger. Ugh.
I only disagree with her when she's doing something that I think is harmful to herself. I'm allowed to have my own opinions every once in a while. Even if I look at her point of view, I'm allowed to say it doesn't make sense, isn't logical, or even that I think it's wrong. And if she prefers to do things that I think are harmful, that's fine, that's her decision. But I should still be able to tell her what I think without being the insensitive ass. Now I'm annoyed, and will most definitely come across as one. I need to vent. Everyone needs to let their inner opinionated bitch out now and again.
That being said, here are my frank and possibly rude opinions.
I think it's stupid to choose living with her dad (and sharing a room with Nick) over living with her mom.
- He has no job. No house. No money. No food. He doesn't even like Nick right now.
- She wouldn't even sleep in Nick's room the other night because he hadn't showered in a week. Even when there is hot water, he doesn't shower unless she forces him to. His sheets and laundry would stink up the entire room. She could never tolerate that room and would find herself a couch (which she'd hate) to avoid the smell.
- He'll probably end up living with Gina as soon as she gets over their most recent fight.
- At her mom's she could have her own room. With a bed. Apparently it's uncomfortably small. I say, suck it up. As small as it is, it's a hell of a lot better than sharing a room or being a hobo (her only other option that exists in this state). It's temporary anyway, so just DEAL with it, because it's the best there is right now. And there will be food. And places nearby where she can earn money.
Staying with Lynn should not be ruled out before she even visits her.
- There is nothing in the damn town worth her staying for. Or even fucking coming back for. None of the people here who she wants to spend time with ever feel the same way except for me. And I'll be moving to the east coast as soon as I can anyway. And she can bring Nick with her, though I doubt he'd want to go. There's an ultimatum that'd show how much he cares.
- Lynn offered to pay to put her through school there and hook her up with a job she'd love. She wouldn't make these offers if she didn't really care. Niki would not have to worry about feeling like a burden because of that. Which I think she feels like with her parents.
- She'd have everything she needs to be comfortable while she figures out who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Food, a bed, the choice to do whatever she wants at any given moment, friends, pets, spending money, spare time, fun trips. To be perfectly honest, if it didn't mean leaving Cameron behind, I'd go live with Lynn!
And now Niki's back and not mad at me... or even at all. So I'm gonna feel like a complete ass for still posting this, but it IS what I feel, so it SHOULD be in my journal. Right? Oy.
Also. I hate when I'm talking to her and then all of a sudden it's Chris. Can she not take a piss without you stealing the computer? Back off brotha.
Okay. Deep breath... and....
Save.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
Saturday, March 1st
1:00pm
She's killing me. I literally cannot live here much longer. I honestly don't care if something goes wrong at Niki's dad's place and I wouldn't have anywhere else to go. (The comments on this page explain.) I'd rather live in a fucking box in some alley than with my mother. I'm getting out of here as soon as possible. Otherwise I'll commit murder and/or suicide. And when I move, she said she's deciding what I take with me. Excuse me? I'm not "allowed" to take my PS2. Because, apparently, I'm not allowed to keep my own Christmas presents. How cold-hearted and cruel is that? She'd never even use it anyway. She'd probably sell it. Bitch. I'll have to move MY things out of here when she's at work. She'll probably try to hide what she doesn't want me to take.
I'm also not "allowed" to "start a business using her computer". You know, the one she never touches? I didn't tell her my plan, just that I was trying to find a less conventional job so she'd get off my ass about trying to make me go find one at a fast-food place. I hate her. There are very few human beings on this planet who have hurt me enough to make me feel that emotion, but she is certainly one of them. She's doing everything she can to make me as miserable as her. The worst part is that she thinks she's intelligent. And that I'm not. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! C'est triste, tu chienne, tete de merde. Pardon my French. It's not what it used to be. XD I actually just made myself smile. Nice touch.
She started this shit while I was warming my breakfast (left-over stuff gramma sent. My mom never fucking puts food on the table.) so now I've lost my appetite (due to stress, sorrow, and rage) for the better portion of the day. I should really try to eat something, though. If I don't, it'll only make me feel worse.
