8 posts tagged “healthy”
It's 10pm and I should probably go to sleep.
There's a chicken chalupa on the other side of the wall that's been trying to sweet-talk me for hours.
My mom won't heat the room I've been in all day, because she says she can't afford it.
Even though gramma just bought a heater that uses just ten cents worth of electricity per day when run all day.
On top of the fact that gramma is also now paying her hundreds in rent per month.
And she's been getting $25 per week from me.
I'm going to the dealership (hahaha!) with Cameron tomorrow to buy a sewing machine.
Then to his long lost (thanks to his mother) sister's house for a visit.
I really shouldn't eat that taco.
I shouldn't eat anything at all this close to bed.
It probably tastes like shit after sitting for so long anyways.
I haven't seen Niki in ages.
She never even tried to get a hold of me when she got back in town.
Actually, she never tries to get a hold of me. I always end up seeking her out.
I think my stomach wants to growl.
I ran out of healthy food. Basically.
I have two carrots and a lemon. And a chalupa. Fuck.
I'm not going to like weekdays at work without Debbie.
Fridays and Saturdays are the only time the other girls are there when I am.
I'll get so lonely.
They better hire me a friend.
I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Hopefully the taco won't catch me on my way there.
At Niki's
Sunday
January 18th
Noon
So, last night Niki and I stayed up past 4am making red velvet puffs and filming a short... film about being locked in the bathroom. It was great. We loved it. It'll take us three years to edit this thing. AND we're using a shitty program. Hooray!
Today we're making a pie for the raw vegan potluck we're going to tomorrow (one of my crazy coworkers invited me). It's gonna have a nut/raisin crust, and a banana, apple, pear, orange, lemon, ginger, almond butter, and coconut butter filling. Blenders ftw. Maybe I'll put the spinach in. I'm not sure. Anyway, it's gonna be delicious and I can't wait to try it. ^-^
I also found that I love green tea with toasted brown rice. But no one else does. Except the crazies at work who sampled it and lufft it like me. XD
I got my shower filter and found out I can't get my old showerhead off because it's like... grouted on there. BUT. I BROUGHT IT TO NIKI'S AND USED IT HERE. I are soh sawft and helthee. Bjelis. :3
ALSO. Coolest thing ever:
My birthday this year is awesome. Here are my reasons:
- I turn twenty.
- It falls on Australia Day (every year).
- It falls on a new moon.
- It falls on the Chinese New Year.
I luvit. Pliss share in mah jooooi. ^-^
Friday, September 26th
10:39pm
This was my first day off since LAST Friday. If I wasn't off tomorrow too I'd murder Cindy.
I apologize for being a little out of it right now. After all of my healthy eating recently, the sugar, salt, and chemicals I loaded up on today are making me a bit loopy... since my body's not used to them anymore.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if this or that happened to be different.
If I'd never gone through hell with Chelsea, would I still trust people?
Or have ever become such a good poet?
If I hadn't tried to use Bridget as a stairway to popularity in seventh grade and seen into "their" world, how long would I have wanted to be friends with the popular girls before realizing what they were really like?
If I wasn't shy growing up, would I be a partying slut?
Would that be as fun as it looks... if it wasn't so empty?
Do I just wonder about that because I feel like I was deprived of the whole "dating" part of life, like I just... picked a husband?
As glad as I am to have been handed the most beautiful flower, I feel like I missed my chance to walk through the field.
If I'd met Cameron before I quit being shallow, would I have even given him the time of day?
If I'd never met him, how much longer would I have survived alone?
If I lost him, what would become of me?
What would I be like if I'd had a father?
Or if I'd never met the sad creature that claims to be mine?
Or if I didn't spend my whole life wishing I had something... money to get what I need, people to be close to who care, something to make me feel like my time here is worth anything.
Will I ever feel secure enough to risk having children?
Will I ever look at sex as not being a terrifying risk?
Will I ever stop having pimples?
Who's driving me to work on Sunday?
If slicing meat is how I earn my living, what is my life?
The two days a week I spend typing journals and waiting for Cameron to fit me into his schedule?
I need a car.
Ugh.
I played my clarinet today.
It was the first time in five years.
I showed my mom the biggest spider I've ever seen in my yard today.
She killed it.
Tuesday, September 2nd
10:30pm
I just got home. UGH. It was nice to not have to leave the house until 10am today, but I didn't fucking get home until ten PM. I'm so exhausted. I hate all the shit we have to do at closing. Opening is a LOT less stressful. You don't have Cindy bitching at you to hurry up about every three and a half seconds. Plus the actual work itself sucks. Garbage, dishes, Cindy bitching, picking scorching hot meat off of chicken bones (FOREVER), Cindy bitching, cleaning everything, Cindy bitching. You get the bitchure.
No one can stand Cindy's bitching. This sweet old lady, Maryanne (which is ironic to hear from me, because Cameron's demon-mother shares the same name) got so pissed about it that she started to sneakily throw away some of the chicken I was picking the meat off of so we could all go home sooner. It was SO funny. XD
Today, I bought a quart of fresh-squeezed orange juice and a giant thing of spinach. I finished all the orange juice by lunch, and had half of the spinach. I felt so healthy. XD
Then I had a milkshake.
YAY!
4:30pm
- Everything I love about fall starts to come (that would be a list in itself ^-^).
- Along with my first paycheck.
- The arrival of Wen (which I'm ordering today).
- The ability to have a cup of high quality organic tea every day.
- The ability to have a green smoothie every day (before my mom gets home).
- The ability to buy myself or a friend something small without guilt.
- Less time to worry about silly things.
- Less time around my mother.
- Feeling like I have a purpose.
- Making more friends at work.
- Me and my best friends all making more money (Cameron got more hours at work).
- Seeing more sunrises.
- Feeling more independent, less reliant.
- Feeling healthier.
- Gaining confidence from my job forcing me to be less shy, and seeing the results.
- Feeling better about myself.
- Being a better friend (because I can focus more on them when I when I'm with them, since I won't have my own problems distracting me.)
- Getting to sample a new kind of cheese whenever I want (during my breaks, of course).
- Seeing my store's chocolate section and allowing myself to indulge.
- Buying amazingly prepared salmon (or chicken, or whatever else) during my lunch breaks.
- Buying fresh, wild Alaskan salmon (or organic salmon imported from Ireland) and making sushi with Niki.
- Seeing if the sushi at work is better than at Giant Beagle (it looks the same).
- Going to the fondue restaurant.
- And of course, the series that follows the end of lonelygirl15, The Resistance. XD
8:30pm
So, I've attempted to buy healthy food to give me energy and motivate me to get my ass into gear, but I can't afford to buy enough of it for that to really work. But, that's okay. I've found a really great store that I want to work at even more than the health food store (because it's bigger, fancier, and has WAY more organic and local stuff... and it's closer). And the best part is, I can apply online. XD So, at some point today, when I stop feeling so tired, I'm going to do that.
I can't believe how long I slept last night. I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 3:45pm. I never sleep more than twelve hours unless I'm sick. I wonder if all the raw organic fruits and veggies I've been having this week are doing a bit of a detox number on me. I really don't know what else would make me so tired.
I think I'm a bit clingy. I get sad if it gets to like 8:30pm and Cameron hasn't contacted me in any way. It makes me feel forgotten. Or if I don't see Niki for like a week, I get scared that she doesn't want to hang out with me. I try to let my friends initiate the plan-making every once in a while, just to make sure they actually want to be around me. Am I just paranoid? Maybe I wouldn't feel like this if I had more friends.
I just went outside to bring the trash can back to the garage and get the mail. The sky was the pinkest I've ever seen, and the most brilliant molten, glowing gold near the horizon. Is it sad that that phrase makes me think of moltres flying up into the sky in Pokemon Snap? Anyway, that gave me more energy than I've had all day, so I'm definitely doing my application now. Go me!
Monday, August 11th
1:12am
Time to turn that baby OVER!
XD
I've been sooooo ridiculously tired lately, and it's keeping me from getting things done. Like getting a job. And cleaning my room. And trimming my hair. And going to the beach. And OH MY GOD HE BOUGHT ME GODIVA!!! Sorry. I'm on the phone with Cameron, who is currently in Connecticut. I LOVE HIM!
Anyway, to get myself some well deserved (and well needed) energy for my many-a-task, I'm going to start buying (and eating!) some very healthy food! Tomorrow me and Niki are making our first green smoothies and doing a bit of banking. I'm pumped!
And for those of you who may be wondering, yes that spider was waiting for me last night. On the wall next to my bed, no less. I managed to catch it using a glass and a folder, and let it outside. I felt so brave afterwards.
Not during.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
