6 posts tagged “me”

Tuesday

March 10th

8:22pm

My best friend at work, Debbie, has decided that Thursday will be her last day on the job.  The owner's an egotistical wopzilla who hates people he can't piss off, and therefore terrorizes the world trying to single those people out.  Debbie's not one of those people, so she... uh... got pissed off enough to quit.  I'm really gonna miss her.  She was the only person there who I really felt I could talk to, especially about work-related problems.  Hopefully I'll still get to see her sometimes.  Her sister is a manager at a pizza place 10min from her house, whereas our current workplace is nearly an hour's drive for her.  She'll be going there and managing three days a week.

I was hired in mid-December.  Since then, six people have been fired, and now we're losing Debbie.  I'm still the newest person there, and one of VERY few people trained in the juice bar.  I really hope they decide to hire another person, because I've lately been doing the work of two people... and would prefer that the number not inflate.  It's becoming more and more like the deli every day.  But I can't quit here.

At least not yet.  I want to have at least six months here for my future applications since my last job I only lasted three months at before quitting.

And I like my employee discount.

A lot.

I also want to kill my mother.

All she does is make me cry.

I have to move out.  Soon.

Fuck her.  She's not getting any more of my money.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH ME TO DRIVE SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!

8:06pm

You have no right to forget me.

I'm an amazing listener.

I love with all that I am.

I make people happy.

I'm deep.

I fight to the death.

I don't care who the hell you are.

I'm better than you.

So why can't I let it go...

Without running away from home?

Sunday, October 5th

Noon

I has a shed.  We were supposed to paint it today but it's too cold, so the paint wouldn't stick right.  Or something.  It's huge, but still doesn't completely block the creepy old staring guy from my bathroom window.  *shrug*  Gramma's stuff is gonna go in there when she moves in.  Some of it anyway.  Not all of it would even fit in this house if we took all of me and my mom's stuff out (which also barely fits).  A lot of it will be given away and some will go into storage I think.  Terrible.  But I don't care.  I'll be moving out anyway.  I really should save more.  I've been spending a lot lately.  But I can't help it.  I've gone so long without being able to have anything that I really want to reward myself for little things in a way I never could for... any things before.  I'm not buying too much STUFF really.  Just Wen and food.  Really great food.  Delivered to me.  Dot com.  XD! 

I went to Niki's after work on Friday and we ordered in from a sushi place.  The sushi was amaaazing and I got a delicious seaweed salad too.  Niki got teriyaki chicken (of course XD!) that came with rice, miso soup, a salad (for little kookz!) and these mysterious, yet delicious, pouches of meat.  I french-braided her hair, trimmed her NANA wig to perfection and we watched The Breakfast Club (and took pictures).  It was super duper fun.  And then I went to sleeps.

Yesterday I woke up at 8:30am to find that Chris had been there the whole time.  I thought he was at his dad's, but he had just been in his room sleeping since like 6pm the night before.  XD!!!  I took a shower, then we chatted a bit while Niki was sleeping, and watched super hard mario. 

Me and Niknik went to the health food shop and found out the goff girl there is having a baby girl!  But apparently it's Tim's, so Niki's back to marrying the sushi chef at my work.  Even though the baby is really hers.  XD!!!  We got mint chocolate swirl rice cream and ate it outside the closed cafe next to the health food shop and had a chat.  Then we went back to her house on the bus (while taking pictures) and watched mochi poof up in the oven while laughing (and taking pictures).  We had it with some of the agave nectar I bought, and it was reeeally good.  And I gave her a treat stick, which she enjoyed.  XD

Then I went to Camcam's and watched him fly around his tiny RC helicopter.  It's sooo cute!  Then we had chicken/azn n00dles/key-lime bars his mom made (surprisingly edible... because it all came out of boxes besides the chicken which was juicy but devastatingly flavorless), and he played with his synth some and showed me Portal before we watched some Initial D and had super cuddles times™.  JESUS, that's my boy. 

My mom is driving me nuts today.  It's one of those days where she got up at the exact same time as me, and decided to do shit in the room I'm in, and give me no privacy and not allowing me to concentrate... CONSTANTLY interrupting me to make me set up this stupid fucking shelf.

There are three new girls in the deli, so I'm working four days a week now instead of five.  That gets me $180 a week. 

The new health food store opens up in like a month (maybe two?).  It's really tempting.  If I could work five days a week there, even with slightly less money per hour I'd probably be making more and liking my job more.

She's pounding metal with a mallot three feet away.  HELP ME.

Then I'll move it faster, faster, faster, faster.

Wednesday, September 10th

Noonish

Only two days off this week.  Today and Friday.  I fucking NEED a day off after closing with Cindy last night.  She makes us do twice as much as anyone else makes us, and every time she walks past me, she goes,"Faster, faster, faster, faster!"  SHUT.  UP!  MY ARMS WILL NOT MOVE FASTER THAN THIS WITHOUT FLYING OFF OF MY BODY.  GO.  AWAAAAY.

The store was closed.  The customers were all gone.   The EMPLOYEES were all gone.  Except for me, Justin, and Cindy.  Yet, for some reason, it is inappropriate to talk while I'm cleaning the glass on the meat display case.

I was already pissed at her for being such an annoying bitch, and for having to clean ALL THREE slicers that night because there were only two of us closing the deli (Cindy had to close up the seafood department because the guy who was supposed to got hurt in culinary school today).  But.  Even though I'd been working my ass off and putting up with her shit for the past nine hours (THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, NINE FUCKING HOURS OF CINDY) I wasn't allowed to make idle conversation to take my mind off of murdering her in the face.  FINE.  I'LL JUST GO FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER.  MY RAGE FUELS MY ARM.  AND MY MURDEROUS PLOT.  ENJOY.

"Nooo taaaalkING!  You need to be working!"

"We can do both at the same time!  (forced happy tone)"

"No you can't!  If you're looking up at him you're not looking at what you're cleaning."

What?!  I didn't even know where the fuck he was at.  I just responded to a voice from beyond the counter.  SHUT.  UP.  CINDY.  THIS IS NOT STUDY HALL.  I HATE YOU.

"I wasn't looking up at him."

"*hushedgrumble*"

And as if that were not enough, they had to shut the power off because they're doing something to the freezers or something.  I don't know.  But, Cindy had us rush over to the machine to punch out, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.  WOW.  SO, A FUCKING HALF HOUR AFTER WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE IS TOO LATE.  IMAGINE THAT.  So, she had us go fasterfasterfasterfaster back to the deli, and I was THOROUGHLY PISSED, rushing round like a fucking maniac, and slipped on the floor (I didn't know Justin had just mopped.  I was too consumed by my attempt to burn a hole through the glass I was cleaning with my fasterfasterfaster arm.)  and landed flat on my ass (and killed myself).  It was a classic Charlie Brown football kick fall, without so many flips.

She was acting all fucking concerned.  Concerned that I might report her ass and jeopardize her fucking JOB maybe.  It's her WHOLE FUCKING LIFE.   She is the ONLY person I've met there who talks about nothing but work.  Justin told me she has kids!  SHE HAS NEVER MENTIONED HAVING CHILDREN, A HUSBAND, A PET, A FRIEND, A THOUGHT, OR ANYTHING BUT MEAT AND CHEESE.  DIE ALREADY!

Me and Justin had a very serious discussion about this (while she was at her 2 o'clock meeting and the employees were allowed to speak) and decided that no one would fuck that.  The kids are either a lie, adopted, or were artificially inseminated.  No one would even rape her.  She'd be talking about stock levels.  Who gets off on that?

Anyway, when we FINALLY got out of there (9 fucking 15 pm), I was on the bench in front of the store trying to release all of the day's frustration by crying and ranting to Cameron on the phone, when Cindy comes around the fucking corner and starts talking to me!  "Are you okay?  How long until your ride gets here?  Do you want me to wait with you?'   WTF?!  NO!  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!  IT'S HARD TO BITCH ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE A FOOT AWAY.  IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT I'M ENRAGED AND HAVE A THROBBING ASS-BRUISE RIGHT NOW.  DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LESS GUILTY BY PRETENDING TO CARE.  YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE FOR HARASSING AND CAUSING INJURY TO CUTE HAPPY NEW EMPLOYEES THAT THE MANAGER ABOVE YOU LIKES.  YEAH.  MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM WHAT A GREAT JOB I WAS DOING SO FAR.   MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF INSTEAD.  HAVE A GOOD EVENING.  I HOPE YOUR CHILDREN KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.  YOU KNOW THEY WANT TO.

11:12pm

So, today Cameron and I went to the store I applied to the other night, for a peek and some groceries.  Weeeell, while we were there, a guy from high school spotted us.  He was in my tenth grade health class, and me and Amy would talk to him sometimes.  Anyways, he said that we caught him on his day off, and that he worked there.  So, I laughed and was like,"I just applied here!"  THEN he said that he'd put in a good word for me with his dad who's like the manager or something.  YAY!  Hopefully he still knows my name.  LOL!  So yeah, with school starting, some of the people there will probably quit (or at least cut back their hours) and they'll need to hire (ME!).  XD  I'm going to wait a week or so, and if I don't hear from them by then, I'll put in all my other applications.  That way I'll still have plenty of time for muh dream jarb to contact me before I hear back from anyone else.

THEY MAKE THEIR OWN FRESH GROUND PEANUT BUTTER.  AND I BOUGHT SOME.  *DIES OF JOY*  IT'S SO GOOD!!!  Nothing is added.  It's just roasted peanuts.  I EATS IT ON A APPLE YES I DOES!!!!  But it's not as sweet as I'm used to, so I'll add honey to my sammiches.  Delicious.

8:30pm

So, I've attempted to buy healthy food to give me energy and motivate me to get my ass into gear, but I can't afford to buy enough of it for that to really work.  But, that's okay.  I've found a really great store that I want to work at even more than the health food store (because it's bigger, fancier, and has WAY more organic and local stuff... and it's closer).  And the best part is, I can apply online.  XD  So, at some point today, when I stop feeling so tired, I'm going to do that.

I can't believe how long I slept last night.  I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 3:45pm.  I never sleep more than twelve hours unless I'm sick.  I wonder if all the raw organic fruits and veggies I've been having this week are doing a bit of a detox number on me.  I really don't know what else would make me so tired.

I think I'm a bit clingy.  I get sad if it gets to like 8:30pm and Cameron hasn't contacted me in any way.  It makes me feel forgotten.  Or if I don't see Niki for like a week, I get scared that she doesn't want to hang out with me.  I try to let my friends initiate the plan-making every once in a while, just to make sure they actually want to be around me.  Am I just paranoid?  Maybe I wouldn't feel like this if I had more friends.

I just went outside to bring the trash can back to the garage and get the mail.  The sky was the pinkest I've ever seen, and the most brilliant molten, glowing gold near the horizon.  Is it sad that that phrase makes me think of moltres flying up into the sky in Pokemon Snap?  Anyway, that gave me more energy than I've had all day, so I'm definitely doing my application now.  Go me!