5 posts tagged “summer”

Tuesday

April 21st

8:48pm

I can't stop the woods and the beach and the fire and the sun and the stars from swirling around each other in my head.  Every second I spend in a building or a house makes me feel like I'm being punished, and I just need to break out and look up to see forever again.  Being out there so much after so many years away has brought back all my old summer memories.  Running as swiftly as possible through the branches to discover the mystery that is the other side of the hill, watching the animals live in a way they have for longer than I can begin to imagine.  Sneaking out into the yard in the middle of the night just to watch the moon rise, the meteors fall, and the bats flitter, and making coffee (the only time I ever did like it) with my sister at sunrise.  I crave it, the freedom of leisurely time in nature with good company, uninterrupted.

Homesick, I guess you could call it.  Only far more fierce.

Calm down, Jen.  Saturday's getting closer.

6:13pm

I'm really stressed about this.  I have been for a while.  Morgan is my boyfriend's sister, the sister he's closest to out of all four of them.  She's a doctor, and she lives out of state.  She's getting married in October, and for SOME reason, their mom seems to think that I'm not going to be attending the ceremony.  Cameron talked to Morgan about it and she said that she was sending two separate invitations: one for their parents, and one for the two of us.  Before the invitations got here, their mom even went so far as to ask me if I could take care of the dogs while they were out of town for the wedding.  I tried to brush it off by saying I didn't know if I'd be able to take off work then or not, seeing as I don't even know where I'll be working yet. 

Well.  There's a bit of a problem.  The invitations came, but my name is nowhere in sight.  And I don't know how easy it will be to convince their mom that "Guest" can only possibly mean "Jen".  So, unless Morgan calls her up and specifically says,"Mom, I want you to bring Jen to the wedding," there's no way in hell I can go.

You have no idea how badly I want to be there.  Morgan is so cool.  I really hate that I haven't gotten a chance to get to know her better.  I really only got to see her like, five to seven times total.  She lived an hour or so away while she was in medical school, and she would come home about every other weekend.  But, when she came home it was strict family bonding time, so I wasn't allowed over.  Plus, it was the first year me and Cameron were dating, so his mom was doing everything she could to keep me away from him.  But yeah, she was at the house a few times when me and Cameron were hanging out, and we went to a car show and out to Subway afterwards once.  But after she graduated, she moved really far away for her job (a few times, actually), and I haven't seen her since. 

The way Cameron talks about her, it's like he worships her.  They were best friends untill she moved away.  Dealing with war victims has taken a lot out of her, changed her.  But the stories he tells me about when they were younger make me wish I could have been there too.  They'd play all sorts of silly little games.  Mostly involving heavy swearing and throwing things at each other.  Almost like they'd mock the stereotype of how brothers and sisters should behave.

I was actually really jealous of her when she still lived nearby.  I wanted to be able to see him when she was there, instead of going weeks out of the summer without so much as a three minute phone call.  I wanted to be the one his mother encouraged to spend time with him, rather than slamming her door in my face.  I wanted to have known Cameron when he was a child.  I wanted to be able to have those silly faggot-filled name calling competitions.  I wanted to be as close to someone as they were.  I wanted him to love me as much as he loved her. 

But things are different now.  They're not quite as close.  I'm not quite as insecure.  I'm stronger, and respect her rather than envy her.  Now, I just wish we could have been friends.  Maybe someday we still can.

I know she likes to bake.

I want to see her get married.

Friday, August 15th

1am

That's right, kiddies, I've just woken up.  I went to bed at 8pm (after having woken yesterday at 3pm from a TERRIBLE night's/half-day's sleep).  And I had some left over green smoothie.  I actually like it better after it's been in the fridge.  It's a bit thicker (probably because of the coconut oil, which becomes solid around 75F) and it tastes like blueberry applesauce.  Because it basically is.  LOL  I will have so much fun making baby food for my kiddies someday.  Why do I keep saying kiddies?

So, yesterday, when I got up it was because my mom was coming home and wanted to take me to the farmers' market!  I was so excited!  I think the reason she's buying vegetables is because I told her I was gonna start buying them for myself.  The real question is... is she trying to save me money, or trying to maintain her role as food dictator?  The world may never knoooow.

So, then we came home, I had an apple and brushed my teef, and we were off to the dentist!  I love my dentist.  She is SO nice.  I wanna be best friends with her.  LOL  Really, though, she's just so friendly.  The dentist I had as a child was TERRIFYING and seemed to hate children.  When I had to have teeth extracted, she wouldn't let me close my eyes when I got scared.  She'd say closing my eyes would make me more scared, and yelled at me to keep them open!  So I had to watch the novocaine needle inching toward my gums.  I swear the syringe played the Jaws music.

Compare that to my current dentist, who takes notes on what you talk about, and offers tips on fun places to work.  Her favorite place to work when she was in college was Krispy Kreme, because everyone who came in was so happy. XD!!!  Also, every time I come in, she compliments my teeth.  Today she said,"I love cleaning your teeth.  They're so pretty.  They have a nice color."  I just sat there with my mouth open.  Because she had her hook in there.  The tiny one for scraping, that is.  She's no pirate.  

But yeah, it's actually a family business.  Her dad owns the place.  I guess he does my mom's teeth sometimes, but I've never had him.  She's young, like late twenties to early thirties.  And really cutesy.  I think it's mostly because of her tiny little voice.  LOL  Maybe that's why I like her so much, because it reminds me of my friend Lindsay (Michelle's sister) who, oddly enough, is studying to be a dentist.  XD  I miss Lindsay.  And Mesa.  And Michelle.  I wonder if Michelle is still in China.  She went there this summer with a foreign exchange student she's friends with.

Anyway, then we went to Burger King.  ^-^

Tuesday, May 8th

4:30pm

Woke up around 3:30.   It's officially summer vacation, so I don't have to pretend I've been in class all day anymore.  It's a relief and a strain, because although I don't have to be so sneaky now... I get this "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL DAY?!"  (meaning, other than cleaning) which can be even more stressful at times.  What really irks me is when she says it when I've spent half the day cleaning.

Plans for today:

• Have a cup of Giant Beagle black tea that's like two years old.
• Have some applesauce.
• Start to learn the lyrics to the Lucky Star opening song (Motteke!  Sailor Fuku).
• Start to learn the full dance if I have the energy.
• Watch a million episodes of it (currently on episode 10).
• Maybe play some SyrupTales because the 3rd anniversary event (lasts all May) is AMAZING and I lvl up twice as fast.  (77.76% to lvl 26!)  AND THOSE STUPID EGGS ARE GONE!  YESSS!
• Eat more, here and there.
• Find out if I'm going to Niki's tomorrow night.
• Tell Niki that my mom wants to know if Niki/her mom want some decorations from my graduation party for hers. (Done! XD)
• Try to work on Cameron's band logo thing.
• Try not to fall asleep while my mom's getting ready for work in the morning.

Tuesday, April 22nd

9:23pm

HAPPY EARTH DAY! 

In celebration, I hugged a tree.

TERRIBLY terribly sorry about my hiatus from journaling.  I've just been so obsessive with everything that I do.  I'll start something, and suddenly I have to go to bed because my mom will be up for work in ten minutes.  That leaves very little time for... well, anything.

First thing's first.

I have become one (of two) mother(s) of a very sneaky little hamster.  He also has two fathers.

His name is Takumi (derived from the main character of Initial D) and he lives in a college dorm room.  (The name of the college and dorm room have been edited out for the sake of protection of the individual.)  I'll have pictures ASAP.

My grandmother will be moving in with us this summer.  It's top secret (as is Takumi) and no one in my family can know about it yet (besides Niki, because she can keep a secret AND we're planning home-related things).

Before we moved into this house a couple years ago, we lived with gramma.  There was BARELY enough room.  This house is less than half that size.  This will be the reason I give my mother for why I'm moving out.

Hopefully she won't be as pissed as if I was just moving out because she makes me want to kill things.  Namely her.

I got a bunch of stuff from the local health food shop that I'm super excited about.  I'm crossing it off of my list until I run out again.  I got Niki some stuff for her birthday (which is this weekend).  MUAHAHAHAHA SECRETS.

Raw goats' milk.  It's what Jesus would do.

Goats' milk is quite nearly in my possession.  Raw, organic.  Hand-milked into a jar and put in a fridge.  I'm investing in a herd, buying a share of it so that I'm a partial owner of the herd (and therefore, of the milk).  It's a lovely way to get healthy milk without breaking the state's raw dairy laws.  Have I mentioned that I hate our government? 

Also, Jonjon (who lives in our hat) has returned from his two year(ish) hat-party or whatever he was up to.  He is The Great White Faggot of the North.  And damned proud to be.

Also, Niki's reading 1984 in English and I'm super psyched to talk about it with her.  EPIC book.  I really hope her dad can get his own place soon.  Sean(aka Andrew) is driving her up a wall with his selfishness and idiocy.  Redundant.  Hmm... 

I've been playing my Pokemon Gameboy games a lot lately.  Yellow and Silver versions.  I have Crystal too.  I want to get a Nintendo DS Lite and get Leaf Green/Fire Red and Diamond/Pearl (one of each / thing).