5 posts tagged “the”
I just got the internet in my apartment today. My apartment that I moved into and stole half of from Bryan two months ago. My tummy's full of heavy noms and I have no idea how late it is. I have really great sex. Can I just say that right up front? And so many cuddles. And adventures. I went hiking with Young Bryan yesterday through these crazy-ass caves and cliffs that look like they're from Legends of the Hidden Temple only... real. There was even a cool little waterfall we drank from. And found lots of little pr0nfilming nooks and tested one out a bit. I love my adventures with Bryan. XD
And the day before that I went swimming with Chris (young cousin) at the beach and got him caught up on my life and whatnot. Next week I'm probably staying the night at Aunt Sandy's Monday night, so that on Tuesday Morning me, Chris, and maybe Devin and/or Christian (ALL COUSINS, WE ARE PLENTIFUL!!!) can go to the beach near their hood and go splorin'.
I'm listening to old deo's Shadow episodes. I miss that show bigtime. It's a pagan podcast.
Today, I called Mike to invite him over, and he was really stressing about a lot of stuff. Money, finding a new job, sick gramma, stressed family, etc. So, he came over and we cuddled, played with the computer, had incredible sex, rubbed chocolate all over each other in the shower afterwards, got all smoked up, and went out for bison burgers. I like having someone to take care of just a little bit. But not to the point where they need me to survive. I like to spoil Mike, and he spoils me back. ^-^ And we talk about a lot of stuff. We're really alike personality-wise and he likes being a silly five year old with me, including the little voices. And we can relate on a lot of deep emotional levels, both painful and pleasurable. But most of the time, he's just plain fun.
When Bryan got home from work today, he was in a shitty mood, and had this big sad rant about his jealousy and such, because I guess Mike has a habit of forgetting to flush his baseball cards, so Bryan knows like exactly when we've had sex. That was a downer, but what the hell am I supposed to do? He's the one who keeps telling me I should be free to love whoever, however. I know it's hard, and that he wants to learn to overcome jealousy, but I still feel an urge to try to fix his problems, which makes me start thinking I should change things to suit his needs... but that's not what he wants, or what I want. I just want us to all be happy and express how we feel about each other in peace.
Anyway, Bryan did a banishing to get rid of his negative energy, and then we got all smoked up (such a stoner day, holy shit XD) and I showed him ALL the unicorns. Charlies one through three and all of Planet Unicorn. Lucky Star is next. XD By the way, Charlie the Unicorn should be experienced with pot by everyone who's interested in both of them. XD As should a lot of other things. Pink Floyd, sex, walking around at night, bison, etc.
Bryan showed me he's a gargoyle. It was amazing.
Then I'll move it faster, faster, faster, faster.
Wednesday, September 10th
Noonish
Only two days off this week. Today and Friday. I fucking NEED a day off after closing with Cindy last night. She makes us do twice as much as anyone else makes us, and every time she walks past me, she goes,"Faster, faster, faster, faster!" SHUT. UP! MY ARMS WILL NOT MOVE FASTER THAN THIS WITHOUT FLYING OFF OF MY BODY. GO. AWAAAAY.
The store was closed. The customers were all gone. The EMPLOYEES were all gone. Except for me, Justin, and Cindy. Yet, for some reason, it is inappropriate to talk while I'm cleaning the glass on the meat display case.
I was already pissed at her for being such an annoying bitch, and for having to clean ALL THREE slicers that night because there were only two of us closing the deli (Cindy had to close up the seafood department because the guy who was supposed to got hurt in culinary school today). But. Even though I'd been working my ass off and putting up with her shit for the past nine hours (THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, NINE FUCKING HOURS OF CINDY) I wasn't allowed to make idle conversation to take my mind off of murdering her in the face. FINE. I'LL JUST GO FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER. MY RAGE FUELS MY ARM. AND MY MURDEROUS PLOT. ENJOY.
"Nooo taaaalkING! You need to be working!"
"We can do both at the same time! (forced happy tone)"
"No you can't! If you're looking up at him you're not looking at what you're cleaning."
What?! I didn't even know where the fuck he was at. I just responded to a voice from beyond the counter. SHUT. UP. CINDY. THIS IS NOT STUDY HALL. I HATE YOU.
"I wasn't looking up at him."
"*hushedgrumble*"
And as if that were not enough, they had to shut the power off because they're doing something to the freezers or something. I don't know. But, Cindy had us rush over to the machine to punch out, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. WOW. SO, A FUCKING HALF HOUR AFTER WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE IS TOO LATE. IMAGINE THAT. So, she had us go fasterfasterfasterfaster back to the deli, and I was THOROUGHLY PISSED, rushing round like a fucking maniac, and slipped on the floor (I didn't know Justin had just mopped. I was too consumed by my attempt to burn a hole through the glass I was cleaning with my fasterfasterfaster arm.) and landed flat on my ass (and killed myself). It was a classic Charlie Brown football kick fall, without so many flips.
She was acting all fucking concerned. Concerned that I might report her ass and jeopardize her fucking JOB maybe. It's her WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. She is the ONLY person I've met there who talks about nothing but work. Justin told me she has kids! SHE HAS NEVER MENTIONED HAVING CHILDREN, A HUSBAND, A PET, A FRIEND, A THOUGHT, OR ANYTHING BUT MEAT AND CHEESE. DIE ALREADY!
Me and Justin had a very serious discussion about this (while she was at her 2 o'clock meeting and the employees were allowed to speak) and decided that no one would fuck that. The kids are either a lie, adopted, or were artificially inseminated. No one would even rape her. She'd be talking about stock levels. Who gets off on that?
Anyway, when we FINALLY got out of there (9 fucking 15 pm), I was on the bench in front of the store trying to release all of the day's frustration by crying and ranting to Cameron on the phone, when Cindy comes around the fucking corner and starts talking to me! "Are you okay? How long until your ride gets here? Do you want me to wait with you?' WTF?! NO! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! IT'S HARD TO BITCH ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE A FOOT AWAY. IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT I'M ENRAGED AND HAVE A THROBBING ASS-BRUISE RIGHT NOW. DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LESS GUILTY BY PRETENDING TO CARE. YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE FOR HARASSING AND CAUSING INJURY TO CUTE HAPPY NEW EMPLOYEES THAT THE MANAGER ABOVE YOU LIKES. YEAH. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM WHAT A GREAT JOB I WAS DOING SO FAR. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF INSTEAD. HAVE A GOOD EVENING. I HOPE YOUR CHILDREN KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. YOU KNOW THEY WANT TO.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
Wednesday, April 30th
1am
People tend to find their flock. When you're going through rough times, you can end up relating best to people in similar situations. Sometimes that works out. You can help each other through the hardships, be each others' crutch and shoulder to cry on. But sometimes, when you care a lot, you just hide it. After all, they have their own unbearable problems to deal with, right? Wouldn't want to burden them even more. That's when it doesn't work out. At all.
But how do you find the limit? There has to be a line of some sort, separating what you should and shouldn't talk about. Can you estimate another person's breaking point? What if you're both on the edge? If you can't deal with something on your own, isn't it okay to have someone who you know cares about you help? What brings on that feeling of guilt? That hesitant pause before sending the call? The sudden drop when you hear laughter on the other end and hate yourself for killing it?
Don't they deserve that laughter? After all, they've been there for you countless times before. This is no way to thank them. So the problem becomes less than it is, or isn't even mentioned. Part of you knows they'd want to help if they knew how you felt, but they just sounded too happy to bring down for someone so weak.
Sometimes... this is what I feel.
Thursday
11:59pm
Well, my mom has calmed down a bit since the other night and is now only upset because she lost her her debit card yesterday (as if her coat pocket were a safe place to keep it). I find it incredibly ironic because just hours earlier, I was at the bank secretly setting up a checking account and debit card to go with it. It's a part of my brilliant plan to check number three off my list (i.e. make some money). I'm doing this so that I can use my brand-spankin'-new debit card (in about a week or so when they mail it to me and I take it in to see that it's working properly), in the same way that I would use a credit card, to start selling things online.
Get the money.
I want to sell Suzanne Somers products through this nifty little site, and the starter kit is only $100. But yeah. Once I've made enough from that to start paying rent and having some money left over, I'll be able to afford to start selling some of my old toys and stuff on ebay (I can't afford to ship the stuff yet). So, that's my plan. ^-^ My mother knows nothing of this plan. If she finds out she'll try to stop me. I have to keep it secret as long as possible. Which won't be too hard as long as she doesn't see my debit card or Suzanne starter kit before I can stash them in my room.
*munches on a green bell pepper being dipped in olive oil with a tiiiiny sprinkle of cayenne pepper in it*
Spend the money.
So, what to do with this lovely little stash once I get it? Well, that's where today's list comes in. XD This one's gonna be updated when I think of new things. Check back to to see what's crossed off. And I'll link back to here when I add a lot (all new add-ons will be in a new color on the list). So, here's stuff that I've been wanting to buy for a long time, and some that's just really important to me. No particular order. Just what pops into my head first.
I've separated the food from everything else. XD
- Bareminerals Mascara
Organic T-pons- Somersmile--Get White
- The Jack La Lanne Power Juicer (in stainless)
- A teapot that I can use on the stovetop
- Chlorine shower filter
- A video editing program that edits quicktime stuff.
- A facemaster
Pressies for my besties (SECRET!)- A car
- An apartment
- The kitty who wanders into my backyard for a cuddle every now and then. ^-^ I'd have to buy her food/apartment!
- /litter!
- The Tempurpedic Swedish sleep system
- Clip in hair extensions to dye pretty colors so I'm not tempted to dye my own.
- A warm winter coat that's not bigger than me.
- Custom arch supports for comfy walking.
- New sneakers.
- A laptop so I don't have to sit out here in the cold all winter.
- A digital camera with better zoom.
- Material.
- A sewing machine.
Burt's Bees Citrus Facial Scrub
Georgia Nicolson's confessions (the only one I actually own now is Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers.)
- Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging
- On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God / (UK version: It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers)
- Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas
- Dancing In My Nuddy Pants
- Away Laughing on a Fast Camel
- Startled by His Furry Shorts
- Love is a Many Trousered Thing
That is QUITE a list.
