2 posts tagged “war”
6:13pm
I'm really stressed about this. I have been for a while. Morgan is my boyfriend's sister, the sister he's closest to out of all four of them. She's a doctor, and she lives out of state. She's getting married in October, and for SOME reason, their mom seems to think that I'm not going to be attending the ceremony. Cameron talked to Morgan about it and she said that she was sending two separate invitations: one for their parents, and one for the two of us. Before the invitations got here, their mom even went so far as to ask me if I could take care of the dogs while they were out of town for the wedding. I tried to brush it off by saying I didn't know if I'd be able to take off work then or not, seeing as I don't even know where I'll be working yet.
Well. There's a bit of a problem. The invitations came, but my name is nowhere in sight. And I don't know how easy it will be to convince their mom that "Guest" can only possibly mean "Jen". So, unless Morgan calls her up and specifically says,"Mom, I want you to bring Jen to the wedding," there's no way in hell I can go.
You have no idea how badly I want to be there. Morgan is so cool. I really hate that I haven't gotten a chance to get to know her better. I really only got to see her like, five to seven times total. She lived an hour or so away while she was in medical school, and she would come home about every other weekend. But, when she came home it was strict family bonding time, so I wasn't allowed over. Plus, it was the first year me and Cameron were dating, so his mom was doing everything she could to keep me away from him. But yeah, she was at the house a few times when me and Cameron were hanging out, and we went to a car show and out to Subway afterwards once. But after she graduated, she moved really far away for her job (a few times, actually), and I haven't seen her since.
The way Cameron talks about her, it's like he worships her. They were best friends untill she moved away. Dealing with war victims has taken a lot out of her, changed her. But the stories he tells me about when they were younger make me wish I could have been there too. They'd play all sorts of silly little games. Mostly involving heavy swearing and throwing things at each other. Almost like they'd mock the stereotype of how brothers and sisters should behave.
I was actually really jealous of her when she still lived nearby. I wanted to be able to see him when she was there, instead of going weeks out of the summer without so much as a three minute phone call. I wanted to be the one his mother encouraged to spend time with him, rather than slamming her door in my face. I wanted to have known Cameron when he was a child. I wanted to be able to have those silly faggot-filled name calling competitions. I wanted to be as close to someone as they were. I wanted him to love me as much as he loved her.
But things are different now. They're not quite as close. I'm not quite as insecure. I'm stronger, and respect her rather than envy her. Now, I just wish we could have been friends. Maybe someday we still can.
I know she likes to bake.
I want to see her get married.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
