7 posts tagged “water”
At Niki's
Tuesday
January 13th, 2009
2pm
Happy New Year.
Everything is constantly changing. I got a new job in the health food store I love so much, working in the juice bar. I miss my deli buddies, but my new job is so much better and I'm making good friends. Too bad they'll all eventually quit and/or move to California. Christmas was full of Hello Kitty. Cameron's becoming a voice actor and plans to get a house with a couple of his friends after this semester. I'm not ready to move in with him yet, but I'm still not sure what my plans for moving out are. I'm still saving for my degree and need a car/license before I feel comfortable moving out. Niki's back to obsessing over guys and forgetting the rest of the world exists. Who's the real Hachi in this friendship? I miss her. Even though we're in the same room.
She's getting on a plane (or two) by herself to go half way across the country to see this guy. But she's scared to take the bus 15 minutes down the street by herself.
I got a Nintendo DS (and Pokemon Mystery Dungeon / Hello Kitty PDA software) and DDR for my PS2.
I just bought an Aquasana shower filter to celebrate my first paycheck from my new job.
Cameron said his parents are thinking about giving or letting me borrow their laptop that they don't really need anymore to use for school. They think I'm just taking online classes from the local community college I went to for a semester and a half (ish), and don't know about the grandma-box situation. If they decide not to, I'm going to get a credit card and start building up good credit by buying a laptop (that I can afford to pay off right away). Hopefully I'll be back online soon.
My mom's getting off work now. Cameron didn't answer his phone, so I think he's in a class. I really need to see him.
I'm not taking the bus because apparently there's a rapist/theif with a gun on the loose (local enough for concern). I guess I'll end up leaving with my mom while Niki's still asleep.
I told Niki last night how I was upset about her ignoring me to talk to Brett the last three times I've come over. I tried all evening to get her to pay attention to me, but she was more interested in talking to him. Even though it's all she does, and she only sees me once a week (or less). I told her I don't care if she wants to talk to him, but that she shouldn't tell me she's going to hang out with me if she's just going to ignore me.
I finally got her to shut off the computer and watch the Nana anime with me, but I could tell she didn't want to and just felt bad about upsetting me. After the first episode ended she went in the bathroom and didn't come out for at least a half hour. I cleaned up the kitchen and got ready for bed. I wasn't enjoying forcing her to hang out with me, so I rolled over like fifteen minutes after she came back. I heard her get on the phone with Brett. I shut off the tv.
I don't know why I bother.
Thirteen days until I turn twenty.
I think I'll build a snowman when I get home.
Wednesday, August 20th
5pm
I went to the beach with Cameron yesterday! ^-^ I've been wanting him to go with me for three years, and he finally did! And it was so much fun! ^-^!!!! We watched the seagulls (from like two feet away, while they'd sort of hover as the wind blew over them. It was magnificent.), collected pretty stones, and played in the sand and water with our feet. ^-^ It was kind of chilly, and the wind was coming in strong off of the shore, but the water was SO warm. It was wonderful. ^-^
Oh, and there was a tractor.
We found a piece of sea glass, a clear one that got all frosty looking. I wrapped a star pattern onto it with silver wire (just can't escape the CPS XD) and made a necklace from it today. It's pretty. ^-^ I was supposed to wire-wrap a stone Cameron picked up, to make into a keychain. So, last night when I was carrying all my stuff into my room, my hands were full, so I put the stone down my shirt. I ended up forgetting that I put it there, and I couldn't find it when I woke up. <u.u> I looked for it for like fifteen minutes with no luck. It's kind of small. I'll have to tidy my room up a bit tomorrow and look harder.
I also talked to my friend Roseanne. She's this nice, little old lady who lives on my street and walks a lot. I talked to her a few times last year when I'd walk to the bus for school. I told her about switching schools, and that I was going to the beach, and she said how much fun she had at the beach with her friend on Wednesday, and if I ever want to, I can cut some flowers from her little flower garden she was working on when I walked by. ^-^ I'm going to send her a Christmas card this year.
Speaking of neighbors, my really horrible ones (who wanted to eat Aunt Sandy because she was "speeding" into my driveway... not the ones who called the cops on Cameron (and break children's arms) because he was "speeding" out of my driveway, finally got their fence up. Sadly, it doesn't hide their back door OR driveway from our view. And their child's sandbox is still on my side of the fence. ^o.0^
The very beginning of Monday, August 10th
Midnight
I know I should probably have some sort of excuse for why I haven't written in a while, but I don't. Yes, my mom and I had a HUGE argument and she took the internet box away for a few days because of it, but I've had it back for three or four days and I just didn't feel like talking about my life. There's too much to say, and not nearly enough words currently in my personal vocabulary. I'll try to catch you up. Short and sweet. Ish.
My mom's a BITCH and I'm stuck with her until she throws me out.
I can't let her throw me out yet because I can't get student loans and have to save up for college by working.
Which means I have to live here. Near a bus stop.
The government is an even bigger bitch than my mom.
Fuck them for knowing NOTHING about health, and not putting worthy schools on their list.
Now it'll take months for me to save up what I need to start classes.
Niki's graduation party was a LOT of fun.
She's got a job now.
I've got more ideas for places to look for work.
Trying offices next.
I'm turning all my applications in on the same day so I hear back from them all at once (more or less).
Gramma might not move in with us.
If it weren't for the bunnies, the trees, and the hawks, I'd wish we'd never moved out.
There was a big, shiny black spider in my room last night.
I tried to catch it in an empty ice cream bucket to let it outside but it escaped and I lost it.
I shut my bedroom door and slept on the couch.
I still don't know where it is and I'm scared to sleep in my room tonight.
There are some spiders that cause your flesh to decay when they bite you.
And others that just kill you.
So I feel that I have a good reason to be terrified.
I'm out of water AGAIN and can't get to the store until Monday unless I get a ride.
Which I won't.
I miss Niki already and fear that with us both working, we'll never see each other.
I'm scared of losing more friends.
I only have two.
Three if you count Aunt Donna.
But we still haven't talked much yet.
I've been drawing, singing, and dancing more.
I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Nothing I do seems to have a purpose.
And no purpose I work towards seems certain enough to be worth the effort.
And I'm terrified that I won't be able to get a good enough job with the degree I want.
And that with my first job, I'll end up having to spend that money on another degree that I don't even like.
I've spent the last nineteen years waiting for my life to start.
I can't bear to think that working my ass off for (roughly) the next two years will lead me right back to here.
I'm scared that Cameron's new extreme passion for music is going to leave me in the dust.
Even though he says he only wants to sing with me.
And I'm scared that he'll dive head first into a new major that won't get him a job.
And that because of that he'll be in his parents' house for another ten years.
There's no way in hell he could survive that long with them.
I feel so alone.
I'm also addicted to lonelygirl15 and the Dragon Wars app on myspace.
How pathetic is that?
I haven't even played SyrupTales in like a month.
And I'm ONE level away from finally becoming a wizard.
And I have no life.
And I still can't spend any money.
My bank account is taunting me.
I just want some vegetables.
Every day.
And clean water that isn't full of poison.
And mascara. Because I've been trying to convince myself to buy more for a YEAR.
And my skin looks horrible.
Because when I get really upset or nervous, my fingers attack every imperfect pore they can find.
I decided today that I'm not going to do that anymore.
I won't touch my face (or neck) unless I'm washing it or putting on makeup.
I hate this place.
On the bright side... today I got an envelope from the bank and opened it.
And then I found ten dollars.
Hello, water fund.
Friday
1:30pm
While it is a day meant to celebrate our "freedom" from a much better country, I must try to remind myself that I should be happy about it, because if my ancestors had not come to this land and "mingled" with the natives, I would not be here to type this. Shame they won the war though, eh? Thanks anyway, guys.
Sorry it's been so long. First I spend like an entire week at Niki's, and was simply having too much fun (AND WALKING TOO MUCH. HOLY SHIT.) to type. Then after I got back home, my mom decided I don't do enough chores to deserve internet access. Fine, mother. I won't use the computer. But don't come complaining to me when you're sad because you pay all this money out every month for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I managed to get it back two days ago (after spending the entire day pulling weeds and mowing the lawn) but I just couldn't be bothered to type until now.
So, during my week at Niki's (more or less) I experienced many things. There was walking. And some more walking. Lots of penises and drunk girls. (Aunt Sandy's bachelorette party.) Dancing ALL night (ending around 6am when I went for a walk). Getting invited to an Autumnal Equinox bonfire at my aunt's. A metric shit-ton of Pokemon. Pizza. Crisis. Parents sucking at being parents. Rain. Sun. Waiting four hours for Wendy's to open and then deciding not to take Devin's money. Sitting awkwardly while Devin and Chris ate. Walking. Getting invited to the bridal shower at 10pm. Tv shows about fat people. Being Aunt Sandy's "amateur nutritionist" until the wedding. About six more shit-tons of pokemon. Spending ten years trying to get a ride to the store. Flat tire. Walking in the rain. At night. Imagining being pulled over for weaving on the sidewalk. Hiding my cards for fear of them being stolen. Along with everything else I brought over. The Espeon-Charmeleon incident. Niki, the fairest bitch of them all. XD Amazing water from Iceland. Strawberries. Blueberries. Making the best blueberry pancakes ever with Niki. Poo that looked like charcoal from eating so many blueberries... and that's probably a good place to stop.
I felt a bit slow for not realizing it earlier, but I've figured out what I want to do with my life... as far as a first career goes. I'm going to be a nutritionist. I've been interested in how food affects the body since like sixth grade when my mom took interest in Somersizing (Suzanne Somers' weight loss eating plan), and over the last year or so I've become completely obsessed with natural health. And people are always asking me, you know, "Is this healthy? What about this?" And I'm always trying to push my views about food on other people, so what better job would the be for me than telling people what to eat?! XD!!! I just can't believe it took me so long to figure out. It wasn't until I started planning stuff with Aunt Sandy that it really clicked.
The problem was, though, that my college didn't have a program for that. So, I started researching and in just a few hours I found my dream school. It's an online school, so I wont have a schedule to work around when I try to get a job (SOON). It's almost the same price as Land O'Lakes. EVERY class is directly related to the career. There are no pointless unrelated requirements. You can work at your own pace, so as long as I can afford it, I can finish up faster. Anyway, it's called Clayton College of Natural Health. It's accredited by a credible-looking source, though the accreditor is not on the U.S. Department of Education's list. That doesn't mean that the material and degrees are not legitimate, though. It ony means that graduates of the college won't be able to participate in certain federally sponsored events that require the title (Ph.D., etc.) they earned there. I looked through the list and there isn't even an accreditor there that's for nutrition in any way shape or form. Fuck you, Department of Education. You and your love o'drugs. I may become an herbalist too.
I also met a lovely dragonfly when I was weeding the front flowerbed. I really wish I'd never sat on my camera. I still can't afford to get a new one yet. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford my books for school. My mom offered to help me with my books a few weeks back if I couldn't afford it. I may have to use the $150 that Cameron gave me for graduation to use for an emergency. The tuition is quite literally all of my savings. I'll have thirty-five dollars left. So now I can't even get a laptop yet. Gimme dat jarb.
I've started doing yoga again. I've finally managed to get myself on a... not quite NORMAL, but rather, an EARLIER sleeping schedule. I've been waking up in time to do this yoga program that's on at 6am on the Oxygen network, called Inhale. I discovered it after staying up all night watching infomercials one new years eve (or rather, day) a few years back. I would stop for different reasons. Either I'd have to go to school half way through, or they would replace it for a while with Xena, or I just couldn't bother to get up that early, etc., etc. For the last year though, my main reason was that my wrist has grown this big crazy bump, and it would hurt when I did poses that require you to put your hands on the floor put weight on them. But, I'm managing to do it without much discomfort, and I'm convinced that it's going to go away. I thought so for a long time, just because it would fluctuate in size, sometimes shrinking. But when Niki's mom mentioned yoga when we were talking about stress last week, I showed her and she said she had the exact same thing and it went away (after some years, but still).
Also, I walked to the library last week (which took about an hour) and picked up a couple books.
2:45am
After much thought and debate, I have decided that instead of buying an amazing distiller pitcher for $350.00 I will buy this little darling for quite a bit less. You see, I had some questionable photos on my other one, so I hid it somewhere, then forgot where I hid it and accidentally sat on it. Since then it's been so angry with me that it won't display things properly or even take pictures and video. I'm a bit of a photography addict, and have the occasional craving to post crap videos on youtube, so it's impossible for me to resist.
Also, after Pokemon League, I bought the CUTEST dress yesterday (bought under the guise that it was absolutely necessary because I had absolutely nothing to wear to my aunt's wedding next month) for fifty dollars, which I will have pictures of as soon as I get my new camera. XD It's okay, though, because I earned the fifty dollars on Saturday, and I'll be getting more this weekend.
I first saw it a couple weeks ago, and thought I'd never be able to get it when I saw the price, so actually trying it on, seeing it fit perfectly, and taking it home was like a dream come true. ^-^ It's white with pencil eraser sized dark blue or black polka dots, big yellow roses around the bottom, and the bottom flares out all adorably. XD I suck at describing dresses, but it's SOOO CUTE! You'll see. XD
Tuesday, April 1st
Noon
I've just had one of my most bizarre dreams ever. It began normally enough. I was riding with Cameron to... somewhere, and we were passing by an amusement park. I told him how we'd pass it every time my dad picked me up to spend the summer with him, but he never took us there. Then we went by this trail that led into the woods, and I was thinking about how it was probably just designed to keep people from going off of little paths (because you're not allowed to) and staying in the cities/suburbs, when I saw a cat stuck up in a tree. In the tree it was white, but then it jumped down and was suddenly a brown and grey tabby, and it just... landed in the car. Which was probably like fifty feet away from the tree.
So, then all of a sudden we were in this building, and I was still holding the cat, and Cameron and I had been talking about something for a while when I noticed that the cat was sucking on my forehead, and it REALLY hurt, and the spot on my head was all bloody. So, I tried to pull it off of me, but it was ridiculously strong, and eventually Cameron and I flung it across the room. Then it was fine. It just walked around like a normal happy, careless cat. Until like thirty seconds later when it started to look like it was dying, moving really slowly and dizzily. So then it tried to come after me again, and I had to strangle it. And while this was going on (because even though I was strangling the kitten, it wasn't dying or even hurt) a big dog came at us and I had to hold its mouth closed with my other hand. It had horse teeth, which was scary enough in itself.
We managed to get away from the animals, and ended up in a room with a lot of people. And some of them were starting to act strangely and come after us too. So everyone was just killing these zombies with a vampiric apetite, and trying to make sure not to kill any of the normal people. And there were weapons everywhere! I saw one gun, but the rest were strange axes and really dull swords, and big cleavers. But none of the zombies would die! We just had to keep cutting them into smaller and smaller pieces until they couldn't move anymore. It was SO horrible. I was being attacked by this one man who was trying to bite at me. I had a big cleaver with a really jagged blade, and I kept hacking away at his mouth, cutting off different parts of his face until he couldn't open his jaw. Then I just cut off his head with one cleaver swipe, followed by a couple whacks with a dull sword. I've never had such a graphic dream before.
After loads of stabbing, slicing, and all around things that would make me throw up if I saw them in a movie, they were all in pieces on the ground. But then, of course, the pieces started to mysteriously slide across the floor and an arm grabbed my leg, knocking me to the ground on my stomach and dragging me backwards. Luckily a girl who was standing near me was able to get me loose and we all ran out of that room and shut the door.
Then we were in what looked like a school hallway. You could hear echoing screams and dripping all around. The zombies were everywhere now, but none were too close by. So we ran for the stairs. I was on my own now, flinging myself over one banister after another, somehow always managing to grab onto the bottom edges of the staircases. There were endless flights of stairs, but it didn't matter, because it was flooded and after about four flights I was in the water.
With merpeople.
One of them turned me into a mermaid, saying that it would make me immune to the zombies, and that the zombies only come down to where they lived once a day to check for humans. We were more grey and had scales that were almost stonelike in appearance and bumpy like coral, rather than the typical mermaid image. Slightly more similar to the merpeople in Harry Potter. But not scary like them, and with more humanlike faces. Anyway, some of the zombies were coming towards the water, so I sank down enough to take my shirt off so they wouldn't know I was human a minute ago. It was okay though, because I also had scaley boobs and didn't have to feel naked, along with confused and fearing for my life.
We swam down to where the merpeople lived and my new eyes adjusted to the darkness. I was basically just... there for a while. I don't remember anything really happening at that point until we came back up to the surface later. It was me and two or three other merpeople, and they were getting snacks from the building. Like, getting up out of the water with legs and coming back with styrofoam plates full of weird looking food. They were all excited saying that this thing was called a cookie, and this was something or other, and blah blah blah. I just watched them and sort of sat on my fin which was bent like I was sitting on my feet on the stairs in the water.
I went back down and suddenly there were only three other merpeople in existence. It was a father and his two daughters. They all hated me but pretended they were my friends, and I could tell. I was supposed to be staying with them, and I went over to the father because he wanted to tell me something. He was in this little room that looked like a little sea cave, looking at all of these fish eggs. HUNDREDS of them. Then he gave me a gun and told me to go up to the surface and find and kill my father. I asked him if there were still zombies and he said no, just the animals.
I swam up the surface and noticed one of the daughters stalking me in the shadows. I knew it was a trap. I made it to the surface and walked around with the gun like a cop. Everything was painted yellow and pink, and there was loud music coming from one of the doors. Probably Jim Morrison. And that's when I woke up.
That was really tastey and relaxing. Except for the part where I was making it. It began with a grumbly "What are you doing?" and ended with her bounding in to spy on me, and shouting about how I'm going to ruin her pots by putting them on the stove and boiling water in them. As if they were designed specifically for anything but boiling water in.
So, apparently if I'm not going to "use the kitchen right" I should find myself another place to live. But that's how it ends every time we speak to one another. Without the bit about the kitchen, of course. Though it seems to be a rather recurrant theme today. Putting away dishes as they're told and boiling water in pots; My God, what has today's youth come to? Next they'll be taking out the trash and baking things in ovens! OH, SAY IT ISN'T SO!
Anyway, I put the cinnamon stick in the water while it was boiling for a couple of minutes, so it was like weak cinnamon tea when I added it to the cocoa packet. It was really good. And I put it in a tea cup rather than a mug so it wouldn't be as watery. I don't use the milk in my house. It's icky (pasteurized/homogenized). But I'll not explain that now, seeing as I'll do a much better job of it in my term paper.
Bleh. Speaking of English Composition, I have absolutely no motivation to write my essay. But I need to start it now so I'm not up until 3am. By then my fingers will be breaking off when I try to type with them. I need some super thin, super warm gloves. Do those exist? Meh. First I need money. Anyway, the later it gets at my house, the colder it gets. My mom turns the thermostat all the way down at when she sleeps (of course it doesn't matter if I'm awake) to save money on the bill. I'm just glad it won't go below 50F (10C) or I'd die of hypothermia in my sleep.
I need to clear my head before I try to write stuff. But it's getting late. Nyeh. I don't give a flying fuck about sex education right now. I just want to curl up with a good book and a ridiculously huge blanket that's just been heated up nicely. And another cup of hot cocoa. And a fireplace. And maybe a little slice of pumpkin bread, maybe replacing the cocoa with warm spiced cider. I bet the pumpkin bread would even be good with a bit of fresh, warm cranberry jam. Mmm...
It would do me well to go wash my face and brush my teeth. My mom yells at me if I use the bathroom while she's asleep.
